Misunderstandings
by S. Buttons
Summary: Kaoru no longer fathomed as to why she did anything she did. A mentally deranged pea-brain. That's all she was. Kaoru/OC.
1. Takashi, what's a hobnobber?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Inserting a gender-bender OC into a gender-bender canon story. Oopsies. Bugger it all, take me to court.

Ouran High School Host Club © Hatori Bisco.

* * *

He was just _standing _there. No bag or books or anything at all. Just standing there by the front gate with his back to her, eyes completely fixated on the pink clock tower. Why?

Haruhi asked again. "What are you doing?"

A still silence. A soft breeze brushed by.

She tried again. "Hello? Excuse me?"

More silence.

The thought of just leaving the boy alone occurred to her when suddenly, the boy blinked, seeming to come out of his daze. Moving slowly, he turned around and looked at Haruhi as if considering whether or not he should speak to her.

Haruhi shifted uncomfortably. More silence.

Then the boy smiled and waved at her. A gesture that would have been quite normal and polite if they had been standing on different sides of the road, but they weren't. They were standing a metre apart. A smile and a wave wasn't customary. _Words_ would have been customary.

Hesitating, Haruhi bowed, "Hi, my name is Haruhi Fukioka. It's—uh—nice to meet you?"

The brunette waited expectantly for the boy to introduce himself, however, he merely nodded.

Then more silence. That awkward and _infuriating_ silence.

Her mind was suddenly crazed with cracks. —

Huh?

The boy was tapping the face of his wristwatch. She looked down at her own.

8:30AM.

LATE.

"Oh, _crap_! Uh—you—BYE!" Finding herself incapable of forming coherrent words, she slipped through the gate and rushed off to class. She glanced back at him for only a moment, just to catch a glimpse of the strange boy waving her goodbye.

_Weirdo._

* * *

And there was that weirdo again, just _standing_ there. Only this time, he was the front of the classroom. Eyes darting about the room like he'd never seen anything like it. A new student.

"Welcome to Ouran Academy," said the teacher.

A nod. And there it was _again_. That undeniable, maddening and _impossible_ awkward silence.

Thirty-three eyes bored into the newcomer, waiting for him to do something, _anything_. He stared back.

Then, one of the twins chose that moment to peg a blue eraser at him. It connected with the boy's forehead, bounced off, and dropped to the floor. The strange boy blinked, looked down at the offending object and blinked again.

More silence.

The teacher coughed. "Uh, how about you introduce yourself?"

A nod. Haruhi watched the boy as he stood at the front scribbling on a large notepad, wondering if the boy had any clue of what was being said to him. But, apparently he did for he held up his notepad to reveal scrawny words written across a brand new page.

'Hi. Arihiro's name is Arihiro Hobunoda. It's nice to meet you all.'

There wasn't really much else to do but stare. He referred to himself in the third-person. The awkward silence continued to linger; someone was bound to snap and resort to cannibalism.

Arihiro flipped a page.

'Arihiro is mute. This notepad is Arihiro's way of communicating with others. Please take care of me.'

Another flip of the page.

'Sorry if this causes any inconvenience.'

Finally the silence was broken.

"Don't worry—" grinned Kaoru.

"—we'll take _good_ care of you." finished Hikaru. The twins exchanged an evil glance. Arihiro fidgeted. He certainly didn't like those looks.

"In that case, Hikaru-kun and Kaoru-kun will be taking care of Hobunoda-kun." Arihiro continued to fidget as the teacher, clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you take a seat behind Fujioka-kun? This is a free study period, you can use the time to get to know everybody. I had better head back to my office now."

Arihiro nodded and made his way to the empty seat behind the girl he had met this morning. He didn't get very far though. His foot caught a table leg. His forehead connected with the floor. It was 9:00AM and his forehead seemed to be connected with a lot of things in this school.

_He's pretty_ _clumsy_, thought Haruhi.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Still on his knees, Arihiro bent over and used the ground as a desk for writing his next message. 'To Fujioka-kun: Arihiro is fine, thank you.'

"You could have just nodded…"

At this, Arihiro nodded and started to get up when—_SMACK!_ This time everyone sweat dropped, save for the twins who just chortled. In his attempt to get back on his feet, he had stepped on his loose tie, causing him to connect with the floor,_ again_. The two-letter word, 'Ow.' was scrawled in the middle on a fresh page of his notebook. Once again, he was kneeling on the ground. Looking up, he stared at Haruhi's face, astonished.

'What do I have to eat to have eyes as big as yours? Pretty.' Arihiro held both sides of his notebook up to Haruhi, as the twins seemed to start panicking.

Kaoru gripped the sides of his desk, biting his lip. _This is bad. Can he tell that Haruhi is a girl? _He cast an anxious glance at his elder brother who seemed to be thinking the same. It might be necessary for the four of them to have a little chat; the new student, Kaoru, Hikaru and a baseball bat studded with rusty nails. It would be quite nice.

Of course, it was a false alarm. 'Arihiro's sorry. Shouldn't be calling a guy pretty, huh?"

Getting up, Arihiro reached his seat without any further bloodshed—not _too much_ anyway.

However, that was when the interrogation began. His legs—just his legs—were being tied to his seat. Everything turned dark. Soft giggles surrounded him. Sweat ran down his face. He squeezed his eyes shut when someone shined a lamp at his face.

"Hey, Arihiro-kun, where did you transfer from?"

He hesitated. Just give the what they want.

'Arihiro was home schooled. In America.'

"Eh? Really?"

Nod, nod.

"Arihiro-kun, how old are you?

'Arihiro is fifteen years old.'

"Eh? Really?"

Nod, nod.

"Hey, Arihiro-kun, how much do you weigh?"

Haruhi raised an eyebrow. 'Arihiro weighs 47.45kg.'

"Ne, Arihiro-kun, what are you're hobbies?"

'Oh. I don't wanna tell you that.' Lots of confused looks from that one.

Arihiro flailed as much as he could with his legs strapped to the legs of the chair as someone spun him around.

The Hitachiin Brothers, of course.

"Since we'll be _taking care_ of you—" said one of them, mischief leaking out from every word.

"—you're gonna _love_ it here, at Ouran," finished the other. Their faces cracked into two, dark, malevolent grins.

Never in his life had Arihiro worried so much about what could possibly happen in the future.

* * *

As the Host Club began to clean up after a normal day of Club Activities, Hikaru and Kaoru were scheming.

"Hey, Haruhi didn't that new transfer student call you _pretty_?" said Hikaru. His voice unusually loud, catching the attention of the other Host Club members. One _idiot_ in particular.

"Yeah, that _guy_," said Kaoru, following the same pattern as Hikaru, his voice a tad bit too loud.

"What about it?" asked Haruhi, her jaw clenching as she made every fibre of her being ignore a certain blonde _idiot_ behind her, listening intensely to the conversation.

"Daddy, will not allow it!" cried Tamaki, jumping from his position behind the couch. "Un-authorized fraternizing with Haruhi is prohibited!"

"What do you mean by 'un-authorized fraternizing'?" said Haruhi, in a dull tone.

"Well, he was flirting with you… So daddy's worried—and—and—" Tamaki cowered and twiddled his thumbs—Haruhi never seemed to agree with anything he said. Suddenly Tamaki pointed at Kyouya, "Mummy, I want a full report on this Hobnobber!"

"Understood," replied Kyouya pulling a file out of nowhere.

Haruhi brow furrowed. "Hobnobber?"

"Hey, Takashi. What's a Hobnobber?" Honey frowned in confusion. Mori merely shrugged.

"By Hobnobber, he probably means—" The twins faced each other, raising their arms to interlace their fingers. "—the person who hobnobs with Haruhi. Hobnob: to associate on _very_ friendly terms."

Kyouya clicked his pen, scribbling as he read aloud from the file. A file not unlike the file he had on Toru Suzushina (Anime, Episode 02). "Arihiro Hobunoda is the only son of Kentaro Hobunoda, the founder of computer manufacturing company.

Grades: Appalling  
Family Prestige: Impressive  
Appearance: Adequate  
Strong Points: Piano  
Bad Aspect: Stupidity

A selling point would be his lack of knowledge in several areas—such as the use of chopsticks and umbrellas. In other words, he is a—"

Interrupting Kyouya, Hikaru and Kaoru took turns in continuing his sentence.

"—Stupid—"

"—Mute—"

"—Rich—"

"—Idiot," finished Kyouya, snapping the file shut. "End of report."

"Once again, you guys have no mercy for men," muttered Haruhi.

"Eh? He doesn't know how to use chopsticks? Or umbrellas?" questioned Honey. Mori grunted.

Tamaki, still processing the information, muttered to himself, "Arihiro Hobnobber…?"

The twins looked at Kyouya, boredom evident on their expressions, "Kyouya-senpai. What do you mean by 'selling point'? You're not thinking of getting him to become a host are you?"

"I thought he might be helpful but then again, maybe he's too stupid," said Kyouya not looking up from his clipboard.

"Ahhh—" started one of the twins.

"—That would have been interesting," finished the other.

"Maybe after some—ahem—_intense_ training, and if everyone _except_ Tamaki approves then…" drawled Kyouya.

Haruhi cocked an eyebrow. _Everyone besides Tamaki-sempai?_

"FATHER WILL NOT ALLOW THIS. THIS IS MUTINY. FATHER WILL—" Tamaki froze and looked at the door.

At that moment, as if on queue, the door opened slightly just enough for a notepad to fit through. 'Does anyone know how to get out of the school building?'

"Arihiro-kun? Is that you?" asked Haruhi, stepping towards the door.

"WAAH! IT'S THE HOBNOBBER!" screamed Tamaki, as he pulled Haruhi away from the door, shoved the notepad back out the door and slammed it shut.

"Tamaki-senpai! What are you doing?" asked Haruhi.

Uh-oh. It was the annoyed tone.

Tamaki shook like a leaf, scared that his action would jeopardize their non-existent 'father–daughter' relationship. "I–I–I–I was protecting my precious daughter from the Hobnobber?" stuttered Tamaki, unsure of whether he had managed to step around a land mine.

Haruhi sighed—Tamaki, in turn, cringed—and opened the door to find Arihiro sitting on the floor, his forehead tinted red where it had met with the door. 'Ow…'

Without notice, two pairs of hands grabbed him by the ankles and dragged him into the room, snapping the door shut. Flopping him onto the couch, the twins grandly announced, "Introducing, Arihiro Hobunoda!"

"Eh? It's the Hobnobber?" said Honey, looking at Arihiro curiously.

Arihiro pouted. 'Hobunoda, not Hobnobber!'

"Welcome to the Host Club, Arihiro Hobunoda," said Kyouya, sliding his glasses further back onto the bridge of his nose. Arihiro listened as he was introduced to the seven hosts, including Haruhi, one question in particular, hovering in his mind.

'What's a Host Club?'

Tamaki cleared his throat, finding his moment to shine, "Ahem, Ouran Academy is defined by one, prestigious families, and two, wealth, and prosperous people who have much time on their hands. Therefore the Ouran Host Club is about these handsome guys that have time giving hospitality to these lovely ladies who have time and profit off them. It is an elegant game unique to this super-rich school."

Ignoring the blank look Arihiro gave him, Tamaki pointed at him demanding his utmost attention, "Hobnobber!"

'Hobunoda!'

"If you continue your fraternizing with my daughter," threatened Tamaki. "The Host Club will pulverize you!"

Arihiro blinked, Tamaki didn't move from his 'Threatening the Hobnobber' stance. 'Is Fujioka-kun your daughter?'

"Of course, Haruhi is my daughter!" declared Tamaki, realization then literally hit him in the head as the twins thwacked him in the face.

'So then Haruhi-kun is a girl? That's what Kyouya told Arihiro.' His lips curved up into a faint smile. Despite the fact that he had specifically stated that he had been told by Kyouya about Haruhi's situation, panic arouse within the Host Club, excluding Mori and Kyouya, of course. Honey attempted to convince Arihiro that he was wrong but to no avail—Honey was almost in tears from lying. The twins settled with pummeling Tamaki for his blunder. Haruhi seemed to be the only one who had read the second part of the message.

"If Kyouya-sempai told you, then I guess I don't need to explain," sighed Haruhi. Arihiro nodded. Remembering something peculiar, Haruhi asked, "By the way, Arihiro-kun. What were you doing outside the school gate this morning?"

Giving her a sheepish look, Arihiro wrote, 'Arihiro forgot Arihiro's school bag. So Arihiro was waiting for someone to drop it off. And Arihiro's notebook was in the bag, so sorry Arihiro didn't communicate with you.' Haruhi sweat-dropped. Arhiro tried his best to ignore the commotion behind him. Instead he looked up at Kyouya, expectantly, who was writing something down in his clipboard, but he said nothing.

"Then Kyou-chan, why did you need to tell Hiro-chan?" asked Honey, cocking his head to the side. This caught the twins' attention, momentarily, pausing their pointless brawl with Tamaki.

"Well, I felt bad that I knew Arihiro's secret and he didn't know mine," Kyouya explained. "So I just thought it was best to tell him—to keep it fair." One skeptical thought crossed the minds of Haruhi and the Host Club's: _Then why the Hell did he tell the Hobnobber _Haruhi's _secret!_

"You are not to touch, Haruhi!" demanded Tamaki, randomly and then politely asked, "What's your name, again?"

What is your name?—those words seemed to trigger something in his mind but Arihiro ignored it. With a smile plastered on his face, Arihiro scrawled in the corner of his notebook, 'Arihiro doesn't understand what's going on but it's okay. (Tamaki-sempai, your face is all messed up.)'

Tamaki fumed and let out a screech.

Looking around curiously, Arihiro noticed the piano in the corner. Noticing grey eyes light up, Kyouya made a gesture with his head. "Go ahead."

Arihiro smiled.

* * *

It was another day in the Third Music Room.

Arihiro sat in front of the grand piano, as he touched the keys. This piece wasn't one of his favorites; he had a tendency to play different pieces depending on his mood. The sound of the piano resonated around the room, some customers and their Hosts stopped to look momentarily at Arihiro—eyes closed, a slight crease forming in between his eyebrows as he continued to play.

"Fantasie-Impromptu, by Frédéric Chopin," stated Kyouya to no one in particular. Tamaki watched in awe, fascinated by the fact that despite being so clumsy, this fellow pianist could actually play the piano.

A few of the customers sighed, shoulders relaxing, "Such a beautiful piece."

Haruhi stopped by the twins, holding a tray with tea, "It sounds really nice." Hikaru and Kaoru looked at Haruhi as she spoke. "But, it's not really a piece that makes you think of relaxation, is it?"

"Yeah. It's more intense," agreed Honey as he watched him, tightening his grip on Usa-chan.

"Well done, Kyouya-sempai," murmured Kaoru.

"Even though no one's approved of him becoming a host—" Hikaru stretched.

"—he can play. So Host or not, he's beneficial," said Kaoru, his mind drifting from the strong melody to the boy playing it.

_Is it longing, I wonder?_

* * *

Even though her fingers were concentrated on playing the music, her mind was far from thinking about _Fantasie-Impromptu_ but the frustration from the piece was still present.

His words pounded against her skull painfully.

_What is your name?_

Nine. They were nine when he died from pneumonia. She understood the reason for her father's decision. Being the only child left, as a daughter, he didn't want her to take over his company. Such an old-fashioned father.

_"From now on you live on as Arihiro. Today, it was Ayuuka Hobunoda who died from pneumonia. You'll live in his place and continue the life he can't. No outsiders are to know this."_

_"Eh?"_ Her father's decision had sounded so absurd at the time. How often would a father order his daughter to dress up as his deceased son for the rest of her life?

_"What is your name?"_ She could remember feeling him piercing at her through his peripheral vision, waiting for a response, testing her.

She didn't seem to notice that her fingers had stopped touching the keys before the Chopin piece had even ended nor did she see the bemused expressions of the customers and hosts in the Third Music Room. Frozen in her seat, she stared at the black and white keys.

_"My name is no longer Ayuuka Hobunoda."_


	2. What shall we do about that guy?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: How _is_ Arihiro/Ayuuka as an OC? Sorry that this chapter is so boring and suckish. Have you ever gotten chilli juice in your eyes? It burns like hell.

Ouran High School Host Club © Hatori Bisco.

* * *

Arihiro sighed for what seemed like the fifteenth time that day as he looked around at the Host Club members from his seat by the piano. The Host Club and their customers looked at him quizzically, not sure as to why he had stopped playing; except for the twins, of course.

"Oh my, whatever is wrong?" crooned the twins. They were certainly mocking him.

A crease formed between his eyes. 'Arihiro can't get up.'

"Eh? That's terrible! Hiro-chan can't get up?" whined Honey, looking horrified. Mori nodded in agreement.

Not sure what he meant by 'can't get up,' Haruhi asked, "What do you mean you can't get up?"

Arihiro grimaced, his cheeks turning pink from embarrassment. As he attempted to stand up, the chair moved along with him, clinging to the back of his pants. Somebody had covered the seat in glue. Very sticky glue.

Everyone sweat dropped while the twins burst into tears from laughter.

It had been 3 days since he had met the Host Club and a lot of 'things' were happening—waking up in Social Studies to find pen marks on his face, the soles of his shoes glued to the ceiling of the women's bathroom and random flying objects always seeming to come into contact with the back of his head.

But the most dubious thing of all was that the twins always seemed to be present in those unfavorable situations, grinning maliciously. Sure, they were meant to show him around but really, Haruhi was actually the one who bothered to tell him the correct directions to the high school bathroom. Finding himself using elementary-sized toilets seats wasn't a very pleasant experience.

No doubt they were the culprits.

But despite it being highly inconvenient, highly painful, and highly difficult, he honestly didn't mind. The twins were actually quite funny.

* * *

Beams of moonlight peeked in through a crack between thick curtains, where snuggled under the sheets of the bed, were the exhausted frames of two devilish type hosts. It took a profusion of ink, paper and super glue to live up to that name. It was just something they did. They'd always liked to play around with someone. It wasn't the same though. The satisfying feeling of messing with Tamaki to the point of insanity didn't seem to match up with their passion for driving Arihiro up the wall. However, unlike Tamaki, he hadn't snapped.

_Yet._

"Hikaru?" murmured Kaoru's soft voice from under the covers.

"Hnn? What is it Kaoru?" replied Hikaru in a hushed but grumpy voice.

"What shall we do about that guy?" Already knowing what the answer would be, Kaoru wanted to hear it directly from his elder brother.

"We're going to tell that guy to piss off, once we finish up our research on him." Hikaru rolled over onto his side, tugging on the sheets and scowled, "The host club doesn't need anymore members."

Kaoru listened as he stared up at the ceiling, the blanket pulled up to his nose, watching his brother through his peripheral vision before grunting in agreement. He could understand his brother's irritation. He always could. It was probably the main difference between the two of them. Not many could see that.

But despite how immature Hikaru sounded, he couldn't help but feel the same. If only things didn't have to change, if time would just stop for them to live their lives together forever. If only life would not amend itself.

* * *

A hand and a notepad raised in the air of the classroom momentarily paused the lecture.

"Can't you wait another twenty minutes before school ends?" asked the teacher.

'Arihiro's busting.'

Mr. Tanioka sighed, releasing his disapproval into the air. With a flick of his wrist, he gestured to the door, ignoring the word 'idiot' imprinted in what seemed to be blue pen across Arihiro's face.

"Moving on, we'll talk ab—"

The scraping sound of a chair, followed by a deafening crash cut through the biology teacher's voice.

_Mute. The boy is mute and still capable of making a such a racket. _Mr. Tanioka glared at Arihiro as he shuffled past and out the door._  
_

* * *

Sunlight beamed out from the large windows of the hallway, casting shadows about the thin figure. The echo of his unsteady footsteps stopped as he turned to gaze at the setting sun, its radiance spread out in the sky, outlining the grey clouds scattered about.

"Dazed as usual, Arihiro-kun," stated a cool voice a few paces behind him. "Wandering the halls during the commence of classes is against the school rule, you know."

Arihiro blinked before turning around to face the calm presence. Kyouya Ootori. Searching for his emerald fountain pen and notebook, he slapped his thighs in an attempt to check his pockets. The Shadow King watched as Arihiro took several moments to realise he had left his only means of communication in the classroom.

His cheeks puffed out in irritation. A crease formed between his eyebrows from concentration as he attempted to show Kyouya that he didn't have his notebook with him, desperately miming actions. The freshman had been walking in circles for a while now, so his bladder was in need of relief.

In other words, he really needed to pee, _really, really_ badly.

Kyouya eyed the childish boy before him failing at his game of charades and cocked an eyebrow. There had always been something he had wanted to confirm and that's why despite knowing Arihiro's dilemma, he was raising his eyebrow.

His face turned a diverse number of shades of colour as his mouth was clamped shut, almost as if he was struggling to breath. Explaining to Kyouya that he was looking for the toilet, was becoming pointless as Kyouya continued to give him the same questioning look. He even mimed using a toilet, for God's sake! Sighing in defeat, Arihiro spun around to check for any students wandering nearby—he checked both ends of the hallway, outside the window and beneath a vase. Seeing that the coast was clear, Arihiro took a deep breath, "Arihiro is not always dazed! And where are the toilets? Arihiro can't find them!"

Arihiro had spoken. His tone was urgent but hushed; he didn't want anyone nearby to hear his voice. The clumsy pianist looked around, paranoid that someone may have noticed his extremely girly voice.

Kyouya smirked. "I know. I just wanted to confirm that you are indeed not mute, for my records," he said in a matter of fact tone. And just to give him a kick while he was down, Kyouya pulled something out of his pocket and held it up for him to see. "I also always carry a pen and paper with me at all times."

"Records? Kyouya-sempa–a–a–ai," Ayuuka wailed, incredulously, not believing that she was just tricked into speaking aloud. Leaning against the wall for support, she slumped to the floor for a quiet moment of distress and depression.

Arihiro was indeed, not mute, nor was he a boy. His bubbly voice was an instant give away that _he_ was in fact a _she_. It took lots of makeup, plenty of practice and a whole lot of money for no one to be able to realize this. With the exception of Kyouya, of course.

Kyouya crossed his arms, shifting his weight to one side as he pushed his glasses further up his nose, the smug smile never leaving his face. "Down the corridor, take a left and then three doors down, turn right to the toilets. I highly recommend that you use the male toilets."

Ayuuka recovered quickly. Kneeling on the ground, she looked up the ceiling, fingertips at her lips as she tried to memorise the Shadow King's directions, "Down the corridor, take a left and then—"

"Ayuuka." His use of her original name made her turn her gaze from the ceiling to his back. He had already started to stalk away only pausing to give some 'motherly' advice.

"Hikaru and Kaoru's pranks don't bother you?"

Ayuuka remained silent, considering this for a moment, before saying, "Nope, doesn't bother Ayuuka at all." With a nostalgic smile plastered on her face, she added, "It's actually kinda funny."

Kyouya remained silent as he studied the hall, calculating the amount of time before the clock tower would start hollering. "Don't pass off everything as a joke or people won't take you seriously."

"Eh?" She frowned, puffing out her cheeks, "What do yo—"

"Also, you should be careful. Would there not be harsh consequences should your secret get out?" Turning his head slightly, Kyouya gave her one more quick glance before stalking off.

On her hands and knees, Ayuuka's copper hair fell onto her face as Kyouya's warning began to sink in.

_Harsh consequences.  
_

Then something struck her. Literally.

Ayuuka ogled at the object that had just hit her in the back of the head.

It was rectangular shaped, white in colour, with some grey smudges and she'd just about seen everyone in the class have one.

Someone chuckled. It was an awfully familiar sound, something she'd been hearing a lot of recently. Whipping her head around Ayuuka's eyes met with one of the red haired twins.

"You really are a funny guy." He laughed again and murmured to himself, "He doesn't even know what hit him."

"Um, are you Kaoru-kun or Hikaru-kun?" asked Ayuuka, curiously. She'd been wondering what this peculiar object was for a while, might as well ask now. He'd thrown it at her. Was it some kind of item you use to throw at people? Ayuuka recalled looking out the window, where a group of children on the grass were playing. One would stand in the middle, wearing an oversized glove and chuck a round thing at another child who would attempt to hit it back with a stick. Once he'd hit the ball he'd run around in a big circle.

How peculiar.

"I'm Kaoru. You took too long at the toilet, so—" Kaoru's amber eyes widened as he realised that the soft and light voice had just come from the 'mute' boy before him. He jumped up, not believing his ears. "You can speak?"

Ayuuka's eyes bulged as she realised her mistake, her hands involuntarily flying to her mouth. She could feel the dizziness coming, her eyes swirled, gripping the sides of her head as she continued to mumble, "Um, um, um, um, um."

Not sure what to say, Kaoru sweat dropped at the panicking girl. The same girl that was now tearing out her hair and the same girl that still hadn't stopped saying 'um'.

"Um, um, um, um, um, Ayuuka really needs to go pee! Ayuuka will explain later! Please don't tell anybody!"

Kaoru stood rooted to the spot, too stunned to say anything before the boy or girl or _whatever _ran off.

* * *

_Waaah, Kaoru-kun heard Ayuuka speak! Ayuuka hopes Kaoru-kun doesn't tell anyone, otherwise..._

_"Would there not be harsh consequences should your secret get out?" _Kyouya's warning resounded in her mind as she sat on a toilet seat of the boy's bathroom.

Ayuuka dropped her head. It hadn't even been a minute after Kyouya told her to be careful that she slipped up._  
_

Pulling at her short hair, she shook her head violently, a frustrated noise escaping her lips. _But of all people, it just had to be _him_. _An image of the red haired twin laughing maniacally flashed before her eyes. _If it was Haruhi-kun then maybe she could keep Ayuuka's secret, but it just had to be _him.

She smacked her head against the wall of the cubicle, letting it support her as she began to feel woozy.

Ayuuka let out a tired sigh as she left the bathroom. "You take too long," nagged an annoyed voice. Ayuuka's head shot up to see Kaoru leaning against the wall waiting. "School's already finished, so you better hurry up with your explanation if you don't want anyone to hear. Hikaru's probably going to come looking for me."

Not looking him in the eye, Ayuuka moved closer to him, putting her hands on his shoulders firmly, so that only he could hear in case someone happened to walk by. "Kaoru-kun, is it okay if Ayuuka explains at another time and place? Ayuuka doesn't want to risk anyone hearing Ayuuka's secret."

"You said 'Ayuuka' again, three times. You're a girl, right? No wonder you don't speak, it's an instant give away," said Kaoru, not even bothering to lower his voice.

"Shhh! Don't speak so loud." A vein popped up on Kaoru's forehead as he wiped Ayuuka's spit off his face. However, when the girl gripped the collars of his blazer with both hands as she looked around, the vein disappeared. "Ayuuka promises to explain to Kaoru-kun later." Curling her fingers tightly around his school jacket, she pleaded, "Please, please don't say anything to anyone!"

Kaoru sighed as he gave her an indifferent shrug, his palms facing the ceiling. "Fine. You can tell me later."

Once again, she spoke hesitantly, "Kaoru-kun really won't tell anyone?" She wasn't convinced that it would be this easy to convince a Hitachiin twin to keep a secret.

"Jeez, I won't tell anyone so don't worry about it. Do I really look like that kind of person?"

Whether it be because a group of students walked past or because she really did think of him as someone who would 'accidently' spread rumours, Ayuuka didn't reply. Instead she gazed into his frustrated amber eyes, searching for a glimpse, a hint that the next day everyone would know her true gender.

She saw nothing of the sort.

As if she had just slapped him in the face, Kaoru turned his head to the side to glance at the oil painting of a pudgy looking lady down the hallway. Still looking away, he ran a hand through his hair, before sighing again, "I'm not that bad person. Well, at least I don't want to be." His sigh was different from before. It was certainly a sigh of irritation, however it was different from his annoyed tone earlier. It had a slight sense of sadness.

"Eh? Ah—" _Kaoru-kun thinks that Ayuuka thinks that Kaoru-kun is a bad person? _

Before she could clear up the misunderstanding, Kaoru interrupted, "You should hurry up and get your stuff. Hika—" However he himself was interrupted.

"Ka–a–a–aoru–u–u. Ka–a–a–aoru–u–u. Ka–a–a–aoru–u–u." A strong voice rang out, followed by the sounds of swift footsteps, the thumping of something being dragged along the floor as well as the huff and puff of someone out of breath.

"Ka–a–a–aoru–u–u. Ka–a–a–aoru–u–u. Ka–a–a–aoru–u–u." The boy's tone changed from calling to a simple statement when he spotted his target. "Kaoru."

"Ahh, Hikaru," murmured Kaoru, not the least bit surprised to see his elder brother tearing down the hallway, half dragging Haruhi by the wrist. Or half amputating her left arm in Haruhi's point of view. From behind Kaoru, Ayuuka noticed the straggled Haruhi scolding Hikaru as they both doubled over, catching their breath.

"Sorry Haruhi." Hikaru scratched the back of his head, giving her an apologetic smile, while Ayuuka counted from 10 in her head. Over the past three days she'd been quite fond of her newfound friend, despite Tamaki's protests.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1—

Ayuuka sprang forward. Sliding on the floor slightly, she latched herself to Haruhi's leg, rubbing her cheek on the victim's leg, affectionately.

On seeing the girl—boy, in Hikaru's and Haruhi's eyes—flat on the ground with her arms wrapped tightly around Haruhi's ankle, he screamed. "Get away from Haruhi, Hobnobber!" Hikaru lunged forward to tear off 'the leech' off his 'toy' with Kaoru flanking him.

Ayuuka pouted at the two boys that pulled on her ankles, lifting her up a few centimetres off the ground. She struggled to not scream, 'Let go of Ayuuka!' Haruhi simply didn't like the idea of them pulling so hard. Sooner or later she was going fall from both imbalance of one foot being heavier than the other (Ayuuka) and the twins' combined force. "Wai—"

Too late.

It was a tug o' war situation where both sides were pulling with all their might, one team suddenly letting go—BAM!

The three of them flew back wards into a stand holding a vase of flowers, after Ayuuka finally surrendered to the force of the twins tugging on her ankles. Though the ceramic vase didn't shatter, it did tip over, emptying its contents (water and a couple of assorted flowers) on Ayuuka, and Ayuuka alone.

"Score!" On each side of her, the twins clapped their hands together in a hi-five.

Haruhi who had landed on her backside, shuddered, "No way. You—you guys planned the whole thing?"

The twins looked at each other as they jumped to their feet, their shoulders set into mischievous shrugs, "Who knows?"

They definitely planned it.

"Arihiro-kun?" Haruhi looked at Ayuuka who remained hunched over, unmoving. Water dripped from the locks of her hair that covered her eyes. The twins turned to study the boy/girl between them, believing this to be the prank to have finally piqued their enemy's dormant fury. Ayuuka sniffed as she rubbed her eyes. "Arihiro-kun, what's wrong? Are you crying?" frowned Haruhi as she bent over to help him up.

_Ayuuka's eyes are dying of thirst. _There was an intense burning sensation in her eyes, forcing them to water in a failed attempt to relieve the pain. She rubbed her eyes more vigorously with the cuff of her sleeve. _There's something in the water from the vase.  
_

The Hitachiin Brothers stood their ground as they observed Ayuuka as Haruhi took her to the Nurse's Office. They did not laugh. They did not snicker. This prank wasn't anywhere near as amusing as the twenty-three from earlier that day. Maybe it was because their victim was mute—they had half expected her to be screaming, 'ARGH, WHY DO MY EYES BURN?' and continue to rub them, when actually rubbing them was the very reason his eyes burned.

Maybe not.

"We were so sure that he'd snap after today."

"How boring."


	3. You're meant to eat it, right?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Thank you to my new beta-reader, Saiai Angel.

Ouran High School Host Club © Hatori Bisco.

* * *

"Hika-chan, Kao-chan, Haru-chan and Hiro-chan…they're all late, aren't they?" Honey worried as he clutched his Usa-chan tightly.

"Ah," was Mori's grunted reply.

Tamaki tore at his hair as he scuttled about the room, becoming more and more frantic with every pace. Whilst 'Mummy' sat in his usual seat, typing away at his laptop while pondering which was more annoying; the Host Club becoming bankrupt because their No. 1 Host was going to be bald? Or an idiot throwing a tantrum about their missing 'daughter' whilst tarnishing the floor with his blonde hair?

Finally, Kyouya spoke, not ceasing his typing to look up at the worried 'Daddy'. "Make as much noise as you like; no customers have arrived yet."

Taking the invitation openly, 'Daddy' erupted. "AHH. MY DAUGHTER. WHAT ARE THOSE IDIOTS DOING TO HER?" screamed Tamaki, jumping up and down, fingers tangled into his hair as his inner mind theatre flew into action.

"We haven't done anything to her!" If Tamaki's inner mind theatre wasn't rolling at that very moment, he surely would have been frolicking to no end, after seeing the twins suddenly appear out of no where behind him.

"Ah! Hika-chan and Kao-chan! Where are Haru-chan and Hiro-chan?" Honey's lips formed an 'o' shape as he waited for the twins to answer.

This time, Kaoru remained silent, Hikaru speaking on behalf of them both. Crossing his arms, Hikaru scoffed, "Haruhi took Hobunoda to the Nurse's Office."

"EH?" came the other Host Club members' blaring outburst; as usual the two stoic members of the Host Club (Kyouya and Mori) are not included. However, if you were squinting, you may have noticed a subtle reaction from the Shadow King—his fingers had paused for a sliver of a second before resuming their position on the keyboard.

Tamaki sighed, wiping leftover drool from his Inner Mind Theatre onto the sleeve of his blazer. "Are you guys really against that guy joining the club that much? He—"

Before anymore was said, there was the soft click of a door opening. Tamaki gulped. His long-awaited 'Daughter' had finally returned. Even the 'Biggest Idiot' of the Host Club knew that giving her a welcoming hug at that moment couldn't guarantee that he would live long enough to graduate from high school.

"Chili juice. _Chilli juice._" With her hands by her side, bundled up into fists, Haruhi stomped towards the twins and chided, "You two filled that vase up with chilli juice and it got in his eyes, just as you planned. Do you have any idea how painfu—"

Refusing to be scolded like a child for something as trivial as this, Hikaru interrupted Haruhi angrily, "Don't screw with us. We've been pulling pranks for the past three days and you didn't say anythi—"

"You went too far this time. Grow up, already." Her hands trembled from coiling them with so much force. Hikaru, taken back by anger. A sigh escaped her lips as she paused before grumbling, "I'm going home now."

The Hitachiin Brothers looked at each other, and then to Haruhi's retreating back, ignoring Tamaki as he exclaimed something along the lines of: "YOU MADE HARUHI ANGRY AGAIN!"

* * *

"Hikaru?" Kaoru whispered to the giant lump under the sheets. "Are you sure you're not coming? To apologise to Hobunoda, I mean."

"Nah. Sorry, Kaoru. I—I don't want to go," grumbled Hikaru's voice, swathed by the blanket he had pulled over his head. Pulling his arm out from under the sheets, he handed Kaoru a brightly colored, swirly lollipop. "Give him this, for me." Kaoru's lips turned up into a smile as he took the lollipop from his elder brother. For a moment he thought that Hikaru wasn't going to show any sign of regret for what they had done to Arihiro.

But there was the lollipop.

"Yeah, I'll give it to him."

* * *

Frowning as she ogled at the pot plant resting on her desk, she reconsidered the idea of watering it with chili juice. Why else would the academy fill vases of flowers with the stuff, other than the fact that it was good for them? A soft knock resounded from the door, followed by the muffled voice of the Housekeeper, "Arihiro-sama? There is a guest from Ouran Academy, here to see you."

Tearing her eyes away from Mr. Yellow the plant, Ayuuka blinked as the white washed door creaked open, revealing striking red hair. Kaoru scanned the bedroom and sweat dropped at the figure of his new classmate standing on her bed, back pressed against the wall, getting as far away as possible from the door. Getting as far away as possible from _him_.

Only God knows how he managed to read the words written on her notepad from that distance, not to mention her bouncing up and down as she pointed her favourite fountain pen at him. 'WAH! ONE OF THE TWINS IS IN ARIHIRO'S ROOM.'

"Hobunoda." Noticing the change from being dubbed, Hobnobber, to her real family name, she stopped messing up the sheets her maid had so kindly made a few minutes ago. Turning away, Kaoru awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. "Hikaru and I wanna apologise about yesterday—and the day before that—and the day before that. We're sorry for troubling you for these three days, for you know, glueing your shoes to the ceiling of the ladies bathroom and gluing your ass to—HEY!" Several veins popped up on his face as he realised that Ayuuka was no longer on her bed listening obediently as he had expected. Instead she had proceeded to cheerily ignore him and bash the grand piano.

The attention span of a squirrel.

On hearing his blaring outburst, Ayuuka exclaimed in a light voice as if she had forgotten something, "Ah! It's fine, Kaoru-kun." She paused for a moment, _He had said, 'Hikaru and I..' so he should be Kaoru-kun... _Not sure if she was correct, she verified, "Kaoru-kun, right?"

A curt nod from Kaoru.

A 'So Ayuuka Was Right' nod from Ayuuka.

"Yeah, so Kaoru-kun, you don't have to apologise." Ayuuka's lips turned up into a slight smile as her fingers brushed the keys of the piano, the notepad and pen discarded on the seat beside her. She beamed at him, "You know, Ayuuka doesn't think that Kaoru-kun and Hikaru-kun are bad people. So, Ayuuka's sorry, okay?"

Even if she was smiling, he could see the red rims around her eyes, residue of their last prank earlier that day. Resting his head on his elbow, he stared at her, "You're not meant to be apologising you know."

Slouching on the seat in front of the piano, she frowned, "Oh. Sorry."

Kaoru gave a short laugh, as he slumped into the stark white armchair sitting closest to the matching ivory grand piano. "You really do sound like an idiot. Apologising for apologising."

Pouting, Ayuuka huffed, "Ayuuka's not an idiot!"

"Haha, alright, alright. I'm sorry." Waving his hands in front of him, to show that he didn't have 'much' intention of insulting her, he apologised. After all, their club was full of idiots. "Hikaru's sorry that he couldn't make it today. So he wanted me to give this to you." Shoving his hand into his pocket, Kaoru pulled out the lollipop Hikaru had passed on to him earlier that afternoon.

Her discontent swiftly reverted to excitement in a matter of seconds. Bouncing up and down in the piano seat, she asked gleefully, "Wow! For Ayuuka!"

"Do you even know what it is?"

"Of course!"

"..."

Ayuuka eyed the lollipop as he handed it to her. "—You're meant to...eat it, right?"

Sweatdrop. "Uh. Yeah."

The skin between her eyebrows creasing in doubt. "Is that so...?" After several moments of silence, where the smoky-eyed girl gaped at her new found apprehension of sweets, Kaoru sweatdropped. _Is she gonna eat it or what? _Blinking a few times, she finally set the lollipop on table and grabbed her notebook and pen, jumping to her feet. "It's so stuffy in here," she said.

"Then turn on the air con—" He stopped in mid-sentence on realising that she had already decided to bound to the door, getting ready to leave the room. "Oi, wait up." Placing his hands on each armrest of the chair, Kaoru took a deep breath before heaving himself out of his seat to chase after the girl whom he could hear humming joyously. As much as she looked like she was loitering about, she was moving faster than he had expected, she was already halfway down the hall, though he caught up to her quite briskly due to her constant tumbling to the ground.

Kaoru followed as she zigzagged through the kitchen, past the bathroom, then down a corridor that ended at a thick door with a glass window: the entrance to a greenhouse. Unexpectedly, Ayuuka halted her prancing. "Ah! Ayuuka almost forgot!" She had spun around so abruptly, Kaoru had nearly fallen backwards from trying not to bump into her. She gave him a wide grin, "Thank you for coming to see Ayuuka, just to apologise! And thank Hikaru for Ayuuka too, for the lolli-thing!"

"Ah, I didn't exactly come just to apologise... I also came for the explana—" The red haired twin sweatdropped once again, pursing his lips. Ayuuka had already disappeared, leaving the entrance to the greenhouse ajar. _She's not listening to me, is she... _Inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale. Finally, he stepped inside.

Once Ayuuka had swung open the door, humid air washed had over them, carrying a lush scent of vegetation. Upon table after table, potted orchids seemed to nod slightly in breezes generated by the slow revolutions of ceiling fans. The violet-tined overhead lights turned the colours of the blooms luminous: deep violets and magentas, ivories veined in palest pink, yellows spotted with amber — all vivid against deep green foliage. Some orchids looked like tiny little faces, with eyes and mouths, and he watched as Ayuuka walked down the aisles greeting them: "Hello, Ultraviolet-kun. Bonjour, Banana-kun."

"About the explanation you pro—" Once again he was interrupted, this time by the sunny and light-hearted melody of the piano—Claire de Lune. Feeling several veins popping up on his face, he glared at the upright piano in the greenhouse. After all, any normal person would have a piano in every single room in their home. "Hey! Are you even listening to me?"

"Ayuuka will try to answer all of Kaoru-kun's questions. Ayuuka prefers writing but if Kaoru-kun wants Ayuuka to speak, then Ayuuka will speak."

"So you were listening." Kaoru muttered to himself, as he flopped himself into a nearby chair, heaving a sigh. "Just to make sure, you are definitely a girl, right?"

A nod.

"And your real name is Ayuuka Hobunoda?"

Another nod.

"Why do you dress up as a boy?"

'Ah, please wait a moment…'

Despite being in the safety of her own home, why was she still in male attire? Resting his chin on his hand, he studied Ayuuka's expression; tongue protruding from her lips, eyebrows furrowed and cheeks inflated. This was probably the first time he got the chance to scrutinize her scrawny plank like body. For a girl, she really did look like a boy. Nothing in her appearance could give her away. It was just that voice.

Haruhi, at least, had those enormous alluring eyes, earning her some points. Ayuuka, however: zilch. _Is this_ _person really a girl?_ His train of thought departed when he noticed that the sound of a pen scratching against paper had ceased several moments ago. 'Arihiro is Ayuuka's older twin brother. When Ayuuka turned nine, Father gave Ayuuka the job of taking Arihiro's place as heir of Hobunoda Corporations. That's because father's a little old fashioned. He doesn't want a girl to be the heir and Arihiro can't take over so Ayuuka has to instead,' he read.

After various moments, Kaoru broke the awkward stillness that had filled the air.

"So...You have a twin...?"

Ayuuka nodded.

"That's weird... Your father doesn't want a girl to take over but because he wants you as the heir and you're a girl, you have to dress up as your brother?"

Her eyes were directed at the high ceiling, taking a moment to absorb the question, she eventually nodded once again.

"What are you going to do about marriage?"

'Ayuuka hasn't thought about that before...'

"Then, why can't your brother be heir?"

Ayuuka blinked, her eyes turned dull and her expression, sour. It had slipped her mind. That same nauseous feeling she always got when she brooded this topic swelled up from inside her stomach. "He's dead. Pneumonia. At age nine." Kaoru couldn't help but notice the indifferent tone she used. His amber eyes dropped from her pallid gray ones, a mumbled apology.

She brought her legs to rest on the piano seat she was sitting on so that she could hug her knees. Furrowing her eyebrows, she stifled, "Ayuuka hated him. Ayuuka really hated him. So there's no need for Kaoru-kun to be sorry."

"Why—" he hesitated. "Why did you hate him?"

"Ayuuka doesn't want to talk about it," she said firmly, turning back around to face the black and white keys of the upright piano. _Ayuuka doesn't want anyone to know about it. Ayuuka doesn't want anyone to see it. Ayuuka's disgusting side. The disgusting side of Ayuuka that felt relieved to hear that Arihiro was no longer part of this world. Ayuuka doesn't like that part of Ayuuka. This is Ayuuka's punishment; living in his place._

"Hey, Hobunoda, do you like the Host Club?" She could feel his eyes boring into her back when she didn't respond.

10 seconds.

20 seconds.

30 seconds. And she finally answered, "Very much. Ayuuka really likes playing for the Host Club. Ayuuka is learning many things from everybody."

"I see." The corners of his mouth turned upwards. A relieved smile. Each and every member of the Host Club was grateful of the Host Club's existence in one way or another; Ayuuka was no exception. An open door. A broadening world. A solution to loneliness.

"Is Hobunoda lonely, too?"

"Of course not. A–Ayuuka's not lonely. Ayuuka has Mr. Yellow a–and Father's Secretary a–and—yeah." Her denial was skeptical. From the way she stumbled on the soft melody of the piano the moment he had asked, Kaoru knew she was lying.

* * *

_So you are lonely._

Kaoru's mind mulled over the meeting with Ayuuka, as he listened to his brother's soft and steady breathing. It was almost an exact replay of a few nights ago, when he had asked his elder brother of their motives. This time, he was going to suggest his own idea and hopefully they could follow through with it.

"Hikaru?" murmured Kaoru's soft voice from under the covers. _Is he still awake?_

"Hnn? What is it Kaoru?"

"Everyone's accepted that guy in becoming a host except for us."

"So?"

"Let's accept that guy in becoming a host."


	4. What is this stuff?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: The chapter's a little longer than usual to make up for the lateness. Thank you to Saiai Angel for beta-reading.

A friend told me the other day that 'rubber' is American English slang for condom. Every time you see the word 'rubber' in this chapter, imagine an eraser and not a condom. Ayuuka and Kaoru are fighting over an _eraser_ not a condom.

Ouran High School Host Club © Hatori Bisco.

* * *

_How—How did this happen?_ Tightening her clasp on her notepad and resting her hands on her lap, Ayuuka squeezed her knees together in a failed attempt to shrink away from them as much as possible. Feeling claustrophobia begin to take over, she loosened the neck of her tie a little. They were too close; much too close. She wiped away drops of perspiration from her forehead with the cuff of her sleeve, feeding them a nervous smile.

"Arihiro-ku–u–u–n," a sweet and feminine voice called. In fact, her tone was so sweet that the knot in Ayuuka's stomach tightened as she reluctantly turned stiffly in her seat.

'Yes?' As she held her notebook under her chin, dread slapped her across the head with a Moe Moe Magazine. A female voice resonated in her mind, the hint of a French accent barely distinguishable,_ "ALWAYS ADDRESS CUSTOMERS AS PRINCESS!" _Feverishly Ayuuka squeezed the word 'Princess' in between the 'Yes' and the question mark, leaving a 'Yes, Princess?'

"Would you like some cake?" The three freshman girls asked, each one gesturing with their hands towards slices of scrumptious cake, not noticing her overwrought facade.

Ayuuka's eyes wandered past her customers to gulp at the Female Manager's magnified eyes eagerly watching through her eye spectacles. Treading off or even peering past the line the Otaku had set for her could cause the eruption of Medusa Renge. Ayuuka swallowed, dabbing a napkin to her brow instead of using her sleeve. She didn't like Medusa Renge.

Reminding herself of the consequences of not following the Female Manager's 'suggestions', Ayuuka shuddered, bringing her gaze back to those in front of her. 'Cake..' Forcing herself to blush, she held her notebook up to cover her face, making herself seem shyer. 'Arihiro's sorry. Arhiro doesn't like people watching Arihiro eat. So instead, will you listen to Arihiro play the piano for you all?'

After a silent moment of being stared at by strangely bedazzled expressions, Ayuuka assumed that her act had been successful when they all nodded eagerly each voicing a 'Yes! Of course, Arihiro-kun!'

How bizarre it was to have people of the same gender eyeing you in 'that' kind of way.

Giving them a subtle and nervous smile as she stumbled on her way to the grand piano, Ayuuka was aware of the eyes of the other members of the Host Club 'in hiding,' evaluating her every move.

Her fingers lightly pressed the keys of the piano, forming the melody of Bach's English Suite No. 3, thoughts moving on to how this all happened.

* * *

"Kyouya-sempai," came the flat ring of two almost identical voices.

The Shadow King did not reply at first as if contemplating whether or not to speak to them, the constant tapping of the keyboard never reaching a moment of silence. Finally, he let out a soft questioning sound; the kind of sound that would make you think he already knew what you were about to say. "Hmmm? What is it?"

"We're willing to accept the Hobnobber as a host," the twins said in unison, their voices, though a step different, were always in harmony, always in tune with one another. But sometimes little changes aren't a bad thing.

Hikaru sidelong glanced at his twin, as he recalled what Kaoru had requested the night before, _Kaoru. What are you thinking?_

"E–e–e–eh, so Hiro-chan can be a host too?" said Hunny, loading another spoon of cake into his mouth.

'Eh?' Ayuuka gaped at each person as they spoke, but they all seemed to ignore her as the conversation proceeded, Haruhi's astonished "Eh?" being the only other unnoticed interruption.

"I guess there are no objections?" said Kyouya, finally lifting his head to look at the others.

Hunny swallowed the last mouthful of cake. "Nope."

Mori shook his head.

Ayuuka shot her hand up in objection. Since the age of nine, Ayuuka had never encountered anything _truly_ inconvenient or uncomfortable about acting as her deceased brother for the rest of her life.

Until now, of course.

Pins and needles began to prickle at her raised arm. She had a vague understanding of why Haruhi could do the job and she could not. Haruhi was intellectual, orientated, perceptive and cute whereas she only had talent for piano and nothing else.

It was as simple as that.

As Ayuuka noticed the Shadow King look past and pretend to not see her erected arm, she began to wave frantically. _Ayuuka objects, Ayuuka objects!_ Then realisation hit her like a cat flattened into road kill.

She had no choice.  
No say, no voice, whatsoever.

Scrunching up her nose in self-pity, the Host Club's pianist could already feel acceptance dripping into her head.

_That's funny…_ She could swear there was something _literally _dripping _on_to her head. Reaching up to touch the top of her head, she felt icy water run down her forehead. Ayuuka directed her gaze to above her head and there, she saw one of the devilish twins hide something behind his back. Her eyebrows knitted together as she fiddled with her fountain pen; she had caught the glimpse of the floral pattern of a teacup. The twin's pranks had dwindled on her but had yet to cease.

Turning back to watch as Kyouya asked (as an afterthought) the neglected figure that was huddled up in a strangely dark corner. "Tamaki, what about you?"

Jumping up as if someone had jabbed him in the ribs, the Host King's recovery was expedite. "AH? ...I guess it's alright. Since, Haruhi doesn't seem to mind him."

"He–e–e–e–eh, you're alright with that Milord?" Tamaki cowered to the left when a ghastly smile popped up on his right.

A second smile, an exact duplicate of the first, came from the opposite side. "If you let them spend anymore time together, Haruhi and that Hobunoda might develop a 'bond', you know?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Haruhi glared at the twins, veins surfacing at her temple as Ayuuka observed, suddenly not able to follow the conversation.

Beads of sweat rolled down his face as Tamaki staggered about bringing a hand to his heart. He laid his eyes on Haruhi and Ayuuka sitting beside one another on the lounge. _That_ mute boy turned and asked_ his_ daughter, 'Haruhi-kun, is Tamaki-sempai having a heart-attack? Should we call the fire brigade?'

"Just ignore him," she replied, not looking at her so called 'Daddy'. _Why would you call the fire brigade if someone has a heart attack?_

As Tamaki continued to lurch about in worry about his daughter being stolen away by 'another man' again, the image of Haruhi patting Arihiro on the head triggered something. He recalled finding a mysterious American DVD in his desk called… _Farley? No, Barley? No! It was Marley! That's right, Marley & Me!_

"That's it, that's it!" Laughing away his nerves, he swung his arms around a confused Hikaru and Kaoru, and said to them, "Fools, this kind of 'bond' is between the daughter and a FAMILY DOG!" Thinking about how the dog, Marley, had been adopted as part of the family, Tamaki didn't even call to mind that Kyouya had been the one who slipped it into his desk when he wasn't looking.

Sweatdrops.

'Arihiro is the family dog?' Sensing her self-esteem plummeting into nothingness, Ayuuka looked at Haruhi for help, expecting her to scold Tamaki, but it never came. Instead Haruhi sat there, her expression blank as she reminisced the time when she was classified a 'Homo,' promoted to 'Dog' and then finally referred to as 'Tamaki's Daughter'.

The twins dissolved into laughter, leaning against each other. "Hahaha! Good one Milord! What kind of dog would he be? A Pomeranian?"

"A Samoyed!"

"No! A Yorkshire Terrier!"

"How about a Calico?"

"Idiot, that's a cat!"

Hunny giggled swinging his dangling legs, excited about the new addition of a 'dog' to their family, "Hey, Takashi, a family dog needs a name, doesn't it?"

"Ah."

As the twins began to argue about what to name the 'dog', Daddy made his way towards his daughter. "Haruhi! Haruhi! What do you think? What would you like to name your new pet?" asked Tamaki, his eyes lit up with excitement. Putting an arm around her narrow shoulders, gesturing towards Ayuuka as he said 'pet'.

Pinching the soft flesh of his arm until he cried out in pain and drawed away from contact with her, Haruhi glowered at him before touching her lips and racking her brains for a name, until finally she said slowly, "If it's for a dog, it'd have to be Won Ton."

The same thought crossed the rest of the host club's minds. _WHY IS IT ALWAYS A FOOD?_

Suddenly, teacups began to clatter as the ground rumbled, either signaling the approach of an earthquake or the over-dramatic entrance of the Host Club's female manager. "Not enough, not enough, I say! You Host Club members are still poor at analyzing characters!" reprimanded Renge as she revolved on a round platform, her hands on her hips. Quickly she added in a lovey-dovey tone, "Of course, that doesn't include you Haruhi-kun. Won Ton is a perfect name."

Ayuuka made a subdued squeaking noise that no one except Kyouya seemed to hear.

"Clearly, Arihiro-kun would be a CHIHUAHUA!" said Renge in a matter-of-fact tone as she pointed at Ayuuka's grief stricken face.

"...Chihuahua...?" they all echoed, considering the idea. Whilst some, such as the twins, murmured. "…Won Ton is a perfect name…?

'Chibaba...? What is that Kyouya-sempai?' she asked. Ayuuka cast him a anxious look (Renge and her Otakuness scared her), resisting the urge to hide behind the Shadow King as a child would hide their face in their mother's skirt. Except of course, Kyouya was most certainly not her mother, and she doubted he would ever wear a skirt, let alone let her hide her face in it.

"Chihuahua," his glasses flashed as he corrected her. "A small dog of a smooth-haired, large-eyed breed originating in Mexico."

'But Arihiro doesn't have big eyes... And Ayuuka isn't Mexican,' pouted Ayuuka. Once again, no one paid attention to her.

Liking and having approved of Renge's contribution, Tamaki pointed his finger at Ayuuka so violently, she had tripped over on her feet from dodging. "From this day forward I dub the Hobnobber, WON TON THE CHIHUAHUA!" declared the Host Club leader.

The twins danced about behind him backing him up. "Won Ton the Chihuahua! Won Ton the Chihuahua! Won Ton the Chihuahua!"

Clearing his throat, Kyouya shifted his glasses further up his nose, he spoke to Renge, "More importantly, we have yet to decide upon Arihiro's 'type'."

"Hohohohoho, I've had this prepared since the day Arihiro-kun transferrred! …A clumsy host member who cannot speak, whom always carries a notebook and pen, who blushes when spoken to; introducing the 'SHY-TYPE' host!" Haruhi could see the fire burning in her gleaming eyes as Renge grew more and more thrilled; the brunette couldn't help but sweatdrop.

In a way that Ayuuka or anyone couldn't possibly ever understand, an image of the 'Shy-type' host was transmitted to the other members. Impressed by the mental picture given to them by Renge, they applauded, letting out a simultaneous, why-didn't-we-think-of-that "Ahhh!".

"Now, for the training!" Renge's eyes glinted. Arihiro gulped, already seeing Renge's hair of writhing snakes.

* * *

_Yes, that's right... That's how it happened..._  
Ayuuka felt her fingers start to slow down as the piece came to a close.

* * *

_Another exhausting day has ended. Ayuuka probably won't be able to sleep to— _Unaware of how heavy her eyelids felt, Ayuuka would probably awaken at sunrise with a sprig of a cowlick sticking up on the side of her head, wondering, _How did I fall asleep?_

Kicking at the sheets tangled around her legs, Ayuuka rolled over in her sleep, dribbling onto her fluffy pillow as she wrapped her arms around it. How rare of her to dream—let alone of the past.

_"Ayuuka-chan! I'm leaving now! Do you mind closing the window in Arihiro's room for me? It's going to be chilly tonight." Holding the door ajar just enough to poke her head through, the nine-year old could feel the wintry air biting her cheeks, tinging them pink as she stared at the middle-aged woman impassively._

_"Okay. Have a nice night, Keiko-san," said Ayuuka, as she started to shut the door._

_"Wait!" The maid shoved her numb hands in between the door and the doorframe, nearly jamming her fingers. Worried for the young master Arihiro, the maid asked her for reassurance, "Promise you won't forget?" _

_Ayuuka merely smiled at the woman, not saying a word, her small hands still secured around the brass knob._

_Returning the smile, Keiko beamed at her, letting go of the door. "Well... See you later!" Ayuuka watched as the woman gave her one last wave before setting off down the front steps, and down the footpath, growing farther and farther away, until finally, she was engulfed by the darkness of night and the drifting of snowflakes. Clicking the door shut, Ayuuka climbed the steps two at a time, slipping back into the familiar warmth of her own bed. _

_She understood. Arihiro had just recovered from a cold, so leaving the window open in this kind of bitter weather could guarantee that he would get pneumonia. But she hadn't promised the maid anything._

_That maid was sacked the next morning._

* * *

If it weren't for the fact that that exact moment was the last school hour of the last school day of the week, he would have been listening to the teacher's lecture, not gazing at the figure seated behind Haruhi through his peripheral vision. Ayuuka's eyes were locked onto the withered face of the teacher, and from the glazed over look in her eyes, Kaoru could tell that her mind was dawdling again.

There always seemed to be something fascinating about Ayuuka that you could stare at; making her the perfect time killer. Sometimes she'd have cowlicks on standing up on the back of her head or her shoes didn't match or there'd be indents in her cheek from sleeping on the spiral binder of notebook. It was always something worth laughing at.

Today the absence of her emerald fountain pen and thick notepad seemed so alien that she might as well had come to school without sporting her trousers. Instead she had a black texta glued to her hand (figuratively, this time), her right sleeve pulled up, exposing milky skin which had been marred by scribbles of words that she had usually jotted down into her notebook. Kaoru couldn't imagine why but he'd long ago given up trying to fathom why Ayuuka did anything she did.

Subtly rolling up the sleeve of his school blazer, Kaoru seized a black marker. Pretending to support his head with his arm, he twirled his wrist awkwardly so that the words he'd written onto the back of his forearm could be read by someone behind him. Kaoru wondered if she'd notice that he'd written a question for her. 'Why are you writing on your arm today?'

Immediately he felt stupid. Stupid for scrawling on his arm, doubting that someone so scatterbrained as her would ever realise, let alone read, what he had marked on his own arm. Just as he was about to twist his arm back into a more natural and comfortable position, Ayuuka leaned forward on her desk, her bare arm dangling over the side farther than necessary for a little stretch but perfect for him to read the small text that ran from her wrist to halfway up her forearm. 'Arihiro is trying to save trees. Why is Kaoru-kun writing on his arm?'

Kaoru grinned, astonished that she had noticed the message on his arm. Had she been watching him from the beginning?

Waiting until the teacher turned to write on the chalkboard, Kaoru composed his reply before returning to his position with his head resting in his arm, so that she'd be able to read. 'I'm bored. This stuff is too easy.'

'Kaoru-kun's amazing. This stuff doesn't make sense to Arihiro at all.'

'If it doesn't make sense, then pay attention, idiot.' Kaoru massaged his sore neck. It probably ached because he was craning his neck to look like he was staring out the window when he was actually trying to peer at the person he was 'talking' to.

'It doesn't go into Arihiro's brain, whether Arihiro listens or not.'

'Then get a tutor.'

Kaoru couldn't help but smile as he could at the very edge of his sight, see Ayuuka considering his words for a moment before opening her mouth in a silent 'Ah!' before ducking her head down to write on the little white space she had left. _She must have an idea._ He could imagine a light bulb gleaming on above her head.

'Kaoru-kun, will you be my tutor?'

* * *

_Why did I agree to this? _Kaoru found himself sighing on a Saturday morning as he sank into the exact same seat he had settled himself in about a week ago when he had personally come to apologise. Putting his head in his hands, he shook his head; the expanse of vibrant colours in the greenhouse was giving him a headache. But that wasn't the only cause. "Okay. Let's start with your worst subject."

Ayuuka held up her notepad under her chin as she always had. 'Ayuuka's worst subject is probably English.' Her attempt to save trees had ended in complete failure. Solely because she had used up all the free space on her arms. Not necessarily because of the reality that proved that she made little impact in lessening the amount of deforestation around the world.

"I see, then we—" Kaoru's eyebrows knitted together, his amber eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Weren't you home schooled in America?"

'Yep.'

"Then how can English be your worst subject?"

'Ayuuka doesn't know, but Ayuuka got a 7% in the quiz yesterday.'

"You should just hire someone else to tutor you." Kaoru massaged his temples. He already felt like this was impossible. "Haruhi might do it or Renge or Hunny-sempai and Mori-sempai or even Milord or Kyouya-sempai or Hikaru." He paused before adding an afterthought, "Maybe not Hikaru."

Ayuuka shook her head, listing down reasons in reply.  
'Kyouya-sempai was Ayuuka's second choice. But he said he was busy today.  
Tamaki-sempai gets off track sometimes.  
Hikaru doesn't like Ayuuka.  
Renge is an Otaku, which is very scary and will lead to the rise of Medusa.  
When Haruhi explains it, Ayuuka can't understand.  
Hunny-sempai eats cake.  
And Mori-sempai is a robot.'

Wanting to open his mouth to disagree, Kaoru, to his surprise, gave her a steady nod—what she had written made sense for once. Inspecting the plant resting on the desk, the label 'Mr. Yellow' scrawled along the rim in texta, Kaoru patiently waited for her to finish writing her next memo. 'Ayuuka thought Kaoru would say that so Ayuuka thought that if Ayuuka doesn't improve in the next quiz on Thursday then Ayuuka will hire a professional, 'kay?'

Considering this for a moment, he decided. "You have to get 25% or over. Deal?"

"Deal." Nodding gleefully, Ayuuka fumbled with the clasp of her school bag. Struggling to unfasten it, the flap suddenly jerked open, her bag's contents spilling all over the floor. Kaoru involuntarily stepped back while Ayuuka froze on the spot.

As Kaoru scanned over the items littering the ground, he sweat dropped,_ Is that a coat hanger? _

After a drawn-out moment of looking stunned, Ayuuka swept down and frantically stuffed as much as she could back into her bag.

"What is this stuff?" he asked, giving her a weird look as he carefully plucked up what seemed to be a plastic spork. Her face turned pink as she snatched it from his hand and hastily shoved it back where it had come from. Spotting the lollipop that Kaoru had given her in place of Hikaru, he guessed. "A collection of junk you find interesting?"

She glanced up at him from where she kneeled at his feet, "As Ayuuka thought, Kaoru-kun's amazing. How did you know?"

Kaoru sweat dropped. _Is she serious? _Noticing her straighten up, he gestured at a familiar looking object, and said, "You missed one."

Straightening up, she followed his gaze to the rubber he had once thrown at her; Ayuuka's body turned rigid as she stared at it with a stony expression. Kaoru sweat dropped. _Is she gonna pick it up or not?_

Kaoru sighed, bending over to pick it up only to feel a sharp pain crack across his nose. He glared at Ayuuka, who had bent down at the same time to retrieve the item, only to unintentionally head butt him in the face.

This time, making sure that he was the only one bending over, he curled his long fingers around what he now comprehended as an eraser. Rubbing his nose, he scolded her lightly, "Jeez, if you're gonna pick it up then don't stare at it for so long."

A pouting Ayuuka pressed both her hands to the tender spot on her head in failed attempt to ease the searing, mumbling a soft apology, "Sorry…"

Able to scrutinize the rubber more closely, he realized that it wasn't just _any_ rubber. "Isn't this _my_ rubber?"

She didn't reply at first, her eyes on the rubber but suddenly she lunged for it, "No, it's Ayuuka's!"

Stretching his arm out to pull it away, he pointed out, "It has my name on it." Ayuuka's face flushed in such an amusing manner, Kaoru had to put his other hand to his mouth to contain his urge to laugh.

Each time she springed up to have him pull 'her' rubber away she would give out a strained grunt. And with several more attempts at retrieving her newfound treasure, Ayuuka's desperate grunting was replaced with "Gimme!"

She leaped up. "Gimme!" He pulled his arm up higher.

She reached up again. "Gimme!" He stretched up again.

Ayuuka sprung up once again, becoming aware of the fact that her face was so close to his that she could _touch_ him, _smell_ the scent of lavender soap on him, _kiss_ him. Though his cheeks flushed a little, it didn't restrict him from pulling the rubber away from her again.

Ceasing her jumping, Ayuuka did her best in catching her breath as Kaoru chose that exact moment to laugh. Still grinning as he watched her glare at his feet, pouting, he held out the rubber to her, "Here." Answering her questioning look, he clarified, "Since it's already been a week, I've already got a new one, so I don't need this one anymore."

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion as she glared at his outstretched hand, she pursed her lips in determination. Hesitantly she reached out her frigid fingertips brushing his warm ones as she took the rubber from him. With grateful crocodile tears streaming down her face from her eyes (and nose), she wrote a cursive _'Thank you'_ in English before shuffling back to her piano bench.

"If you know _'Thank you'_ in English then you should at least know what to say when someone asks you, _'What is your name?'_" He tested her as he too sunk back into his armchair.

"Oh! Ayuuka knows!" Shifting in her seat, she cleared her throat. "You're meant to say, _'Good Afternoon!'_"

Swinging her legs back and forth, Ayuuka goggled at Kaoru's face. She recalled seeing the same expression on the Housekeeper's face when Ayuuka had let her try one of the cookies she had once baked. The thirteen year-old girl at the time, never quite understood why the Housekeeper went on sick leave afterwards.

"Did Ayuuka get it correct?" she asked.

Kaoru slapped the English textbook back onto the table, "You know what? Let's start with Maths first."

* * *

Several heads turned to watch as the door creaked open, revealing one of the customers from earlier that day. "Hmm? What's wrong Princess? We're already closed for the day," asked Tamaki, flitting her a charming smile. His jaw dropped when the girl sauntered past him without a second glance.

"I have a request. For Arihiro-kun." she said slowly. Long locks of raven curtained her face as she seemed to take a sudden interest in her shoes.

'A request?' Ayuuka cocked her head as she squatted down to look up at the girl's face, recognising her as one of the three loyal designators for the 'Shy-type'.

Her bow was so sudden and so unexpected, Ayuuka jumped back to avoid any collision, subconciously rubbing the tender bruise on her head. "I like you. Please go out with me."

Twisting her head around unnaturally, Ayuuka looked at the others for help, only to find her heart drop to her stomach. Funny how a few days ago the Host Club had treated her like a piece of walking furniture which had no say in anything; yet _today_, they were waving their hands at her, urging her to be the one to speak her opinion. Had her silent cries of help reached no one?

Ayuuka pouted.

Resting her notepad against her hip, she didn't get to write anything further than 'Arihiro's sorry—' when her designator dipped her head again, even lower this time, hands clenched into trembling fists by her sides. "Even if it's only for a month, three weeks, two weeks; please be my boyfriend!"


	5. Then why weren't you at school today?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Made this chapter much, much, much longer than usual to make up for lateness. 6,700 words, the longest so far. Thanks to Saiai Angel Alchemist for the awesome beta-reading.

Ouran High School Host Club © Hatori Bisco.

* * *

Her eyes darted over the beautiful faces of the Host Club, searching for assistance, aid, _someone_ to help bail her out. _And nothing._ She thought she caught a flicker of worry cross Kaoru's eyes but his lips were clamped shut. Instead, he along with the others were waving their hands, urging her to decide for herself.

Was no one going to help her?

Ayuuka pursed her lips. Of all the numerous, odd and awkward things that had happened to her, why was it that all these things ensued from transferring to this pink infested school?

Trepidation dotted her vision like black ink; she twirled her head back to gape at the raven-haired girl. What should she do? The sight of sickly sweet brown eyes pleading at her made Ayuuka feel her knees give. And if it weren't for a hand at her elbow, she probably would have slid to the ground like a sheet of paper—thin, white and crumpled. Glancing at the owner of the firm grip she was surprised to find an unexpected person casually step up.

It was the Host King.

Widened eyes gleamed with awe, lukewarm waves of admiration washing over the pianist._ Tamaki-sempai's going to help Ayuuka! _

His serious side always seemed to come out at moments like these and for that, Ayuuka was grateful. She made a note to herself to respect Tamaki more often; he wasn't that big of an idio—

"Don't worry Princess, Won Ton will do it!"

Ayuuka's racing heart plummeted into her stomach; her face contorted with anguish. _How…How was that meant to be help?_ All newfound thoughts of respect and admiration for Tamaki were immediately taken back, incinerated into ash, flung into Outer Space and sucked into a black hole, never to be seen again.

Bowing her head, the girl, whose name Ayuuka couldn't seem to recall, held out a salmon pink clipboard with both hands, "Then, please sign this contract!"

Horror was permanently plastered to the pianist's face; Tamaki plucked the clipboard off the raven-haired girl, composed as he clicked his pen. Ayuuka tried to put in an objection, but could not.

"Won Ton shall be Keiko-hime's boyfriend, for two weeks!" declared the Host King as he leaned over, the scratching of pen on paper and the sound of his voice barely audible over the furious pounding of blood in her ears. She didn't seem to notice her newly appointed _girlfriend _wave something like a 'See you tomorrow!' before taking her leave.

Only a sullen silence prevailed with Tamaki's cheerful humming; his impression that he had 'helped' her was not shared amongst the others.

"Is that . . .okay . . .?" asked Haruhi, not the least surprised that Tamaki was capable of such idiocy.

Tamaki blinked, ignorant of the blubbering Arihiro as well as the looming shadows behind him. "Why isn't it? She seems to like Won Ton very much—"

"Idiot," five exasperated voices simultaneously cut him off.

"Sales for the 'Shy-type' will go down if Arihiro has to focus on one girl," said Kyouya, his tone smooth and controlled, the light reflecting off his glasses blinding Tamaki for a moment.

"Uh—"

"Ahhh, Milord made Won Ton cry . . ." Hikaru and Kaoru complained wearily, gesturing toward a stoned, desolate figure whose bottom lip quivered, tears threatening to fall.

"But—"

"Here Hiro-chan, hold onto Usa-chan! Stay strong! It's all Tama-chan's fault, isn't it?" Hunny accused, handing Ayuuka that unmanly plush bunny of his.

"My faul—"

"Don't decide things on your own," stated Mori in monotone.

"Not you too, Mori-sempai!" Tamaki writhed on the floor as he was struck by imaginary arrows—materialistic forms of the verbal beating he was currently receiving. The Host Club watched with mild interest as he cried out, reaching towards his last resort, seeking moral support. "Haruhi! Haruhi! You're on Daddy's side, right?"

Not looking back at him, Haruhi made her way towards Ayuuka and handed her a handkerchief before turning her head to utter in a low grating voice, "All I see is a _big idiot_."

"WAAAAAH! HARUUUUHIIIIII!" Tamaki shrieked as he seemed to be literally electrocuted by his daughter's cold, cold words. No one seemed to bring up the fact that although Tamaki had been the one who signed the contract, no one had actually bothered to stop him.

The corners of their lips perked up in amusement as Hikaru and Kaoru took turns patting Ayuuka's back—with no sympathy, whatsoever. They had pulled an unlimited string of pranks on the new addition to their club resulting in nothing more than a frown, as apposed to Tamaki's latest unintended blunder.

"What should we do, Takashi? Hiro-chan won't stop crying . . ." sniveled Hunny, regarding the trembling Arihiro.

Mori stared at the deadpan expression of the so-called 'Hiro-chan'—the way tears spewed out from his eyes reminded him of watering hoses—before settling on a weeping Mitsukuni. The only solution was . . .

"Don't cry." Mori laid a large calloused hand atop her head; as always, his pitch remained unchanged.

"_Good job, Mori!_" applauded the twins in English, each giving him a thumbs up.

Feeling safe with Morinozuka's hand on her head, she hiccupped as her tears began to subside. But as quickly as the tears faded, they returned, if anything more intense than ever before.

_Mori-sempai is so kind! _thought Ayuuka as she wailed with gratefulness.

"WAAAH! Takashi made Hiro-chan cry even more!" Hunny cried. Mori's face turned ashen.

Later that day, while polishing her shoes with a handkerchief—ignoring the funny look from Haruhi—Ayuuka would think to herself, _Back then, _d_id Mori-sempai die inside?_

But as soon as the thought came to mind, the thought was dismissed with the wave of her hand. _Of course not, Mori-sempai is a robot._

It wasn't until a year later that Ayuuka learned that the Mori-sempai was _not_—as she had been told by the twins—really a robot.

* * *

Through the rear-view mirror, Ayuuka scrutinized her father's secretary—his rough hands curling over the steering wheel, his muscular build and his blindingly white pressed shirt. She made note of three things at that moment. One, she couldn't picture him without his sunglasses. Two, she had no idea what his name was. And three, she'd just about seen him everyday of the week for the past six years.

She frowned slightly before turning to see the blurs of lush green hedges flashing past the car window. There wasn't much time left before they would arrive. This particular thought made her stomach digest itself, painfully turning it inside out. Leaving the safety of the car was something she wanted to avoid at all costs.

And the car stopped.

She sighed in resignation. Another long day was coming. Literally. It was coming, _she_ was probably co—

SMACK_!_ Someone or some_thing_ slammed into the side of the car, causing the pianist to fly back away from the window with a loud, "WAAAAAAH!"

She trembled at the sight of the raven-haired girl's grinning face pressed against the car window, uncannily reminding of plastic and cling wrap.

"ARIHIRO-KUUUUN! GOOD MOOOORNING~!"

Ayuuka watched in horror as her 'girlfriend' stepped back, her hand reaching to open the car door—

Why the raven-haired girl didn't notice her 'mute boyfriend' screaming his lungs out was something Ayuuka could never comprehend.

* * *

Some people think it's romantic to watch another person sleep. Lying there next to them, marveling at how they came into your life and how grateful you are to whatever gods out there brought them to you. Thinking about how beautiful they look with their bed tousled hair. How cute they look with their relaxed expressions and their sweet dreams.

A high-pitched scream spread across the mansion.

There was nothing peaceful or romantic about watching Ayuuka sleep.

Kaoru set the textbook onto the coffee table and got up.

"AAAAAAAAH!"

But he had to admit that it was amusing to watch at first.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

But 3 hours was just overkill.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! SAAAVE MEEE!"

He tried waking her, deciding that he wouldn't use violence. "Hey, wake—"

"WAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S THE RAVEN-HAIRED GIRL!"

He tried again—trying not to eye the 700-page textbook he had put down. "Oi! Ayuuka, wake u—"

"WAAAAAAH! LOCK THE CAR DOOR! LOCK THE CAR DOOR! NOOOOOO!"

And again. "Come on, ju—"

"WAAAAAH! AYUUUKAA DOOOESN'T WAANT A KISSS!"

That's it. Grabbing her by the shoulders, Kaoru shook her—hard. "WAKE UP! THE RAVEN-HAIRED GIRL'S NOT HERE! NO ONE'S GOING TO KISS YOU!"

If it weren't for the Haemorrhage he was having at that very moment, he would have been worried about whether or not her head would still be attached to her body once he was finished.

"Kaoru?"

On hearing her come back to her senses he ceased trying to wake her up and stared at her. The pianist's eyes were shut so tightly, Kaoru almost thought she was constipated.

"Kaoru? Where are you? Why is everything so black?" Her hands reached out and patted his face like a blind idiot.

"Ow! Hey! Ope—"

"AHHHHH! WHAT DO I DO, KAORU? I'VE GONE BLIND!" Her eyes still clamped shut, she panicked. Her hands having already found Kaoru's face had now proceeded to grapple at him and attempt to shake him back and forth. Ayuuka's frenzy only succeeded in pulling him—who was standing over her in her armchair—forward _towards her_.

Kaoru lost his balance and fell on top of her—that's something that most definitely didn't happen. With both hands on each arm of the chair to keep what little distance there was between their faces, a vein popped up at Kaoru's temple.

"How about opening your eyes?"

"Hmm? …Open them?" Her eyelids flicked and grey orbs met with amber. "Ohhhh! Ayuuka can see, again! As Ayuuka thought, Kaoru-kun's a genius!"

Straightening up, he pried off her hands. "Idiot, don't fall asleep when I'm tutoring you. The test is tomorrow, you know."

"Un… Sorry…"

Towering over her, his tone was serious. "You haven't forgotten our deal, have you?"

"Which one?"

"The one about the 25% or over."

She nodded. "Is tutoring Ayuuka annoying?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

Ayuuka wasn't sure whether she should smile or look ashamed. By his words and his exhausted tone, she was almost convinced that he couldn't wait for her fail her next test so that he could go without the hassle of tutoring her personally.

She remained silent and watched her tutor sigh as he flopped back into his seat, his eyes shut as he massaged his temple. Still resting his eyes, he spoke softly, "So?"

"So what?"

"How are things with Hayasaki? The contract only lasts for another 2 days, right?"

Ayuuka pondered her school life so far confined in a two-week contract with Nanami Hayasaki. She was lucky that she didn't have too many fans and designators in the host club, so there were only a few protests. Not too much trouble for Kyouya.

Though the raven-haired girl had struck Ayuuka as a shy and reserved girl at first sight, that image later morphed itself into the dominant figure of the relationship. Not that Ayuuka minded much. It wasn't as horrifying as she thought it would be—the last 12 days mainly consisted of eating obento with her, listening to everything she said and being dragged around by her. As long as Ayuuka kept up the shy act around Nanami, she wouldn't expect much from her.

"Hey, you're not falling asleep again, are you?"

"Eh? Sorry!" she cried, slapping her cheeks to ensure that she wouldn't fall back into slumber. Though she wasn't the slightest bit sleepy.

Kaoru's lips tipped up slightly at her energy as his eyes shut once again. He rested his hands—that were previously massaging his temple—on the arms of his chair. Letting out a soft sigh, Kaoru felt his headache slowly subside with a cool caress at his brow.

_Wait a second_, he frowned. His hands were on the armchair, yet there were hands still massaging his temple.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked her flatly. Opening his eyes, he was not surprised to find the pianist's face in close proximity with his own, her fingers now pressed against the crease between his eyebrows.

"Um . . . Helping Kaoru-kun . . . ?" she answered uncertainly.

"So what? I scratch your back, you scratch mine?"

" . . . Ayuuka's back's not itchy," she said, bemused.

Considering her absentmindedness, her real gender, her 'two-week girlfriend' and the oblivious host club, Kaoru retorted, "It will someday. And I'm probably the one who'll have to scratch it."

* * *

For the first time in her life, she was worried about her studies. Ouran Academy was a place where a vast majority of her firsts occurred—the first time she went to a school, the first time she made friends of her own, the first time she'd heard of the so called 'dating' system, the first time she had used an elementary sized toilet, the first time she had her shoes glued to the ceiling, the first time she had ever had her ass glued to a chair…and the list goes on.

Ayuuka looked at the sheet of paper before her—black text scattered about the page in a pattern that she could not register, the front and back still warm from the insides of the photocopier—and found her mind go blank.

She'd already bothered Kaoru enough with having him tutor her for this particular quiz. 25% or over. She had to get 25% or over. Otherwise, she'd only ever see Kaoru at school—something that didn't seem to be enough for her.

Tightening her grip on her pacer, she tried her best to remember what she had learnt from Kaoru.

_"Concentrate, idiot."_

That's right. She recalled him smacking her lightly—with consideration to what was left of her brain cells—telling her she needed to concentrate. Mustering the last of the energy she had from the strawberry cheesecake—that Hunny-sempai had so kindly offered—she concentrated.

And miraculously she found she could answer the first part of the quiz.

_"Write the answer down as soon as you think of it 'cause you'll forget."_

As she remembered Kaoru's careful instruction, she quickly wrote it down:  
'Name: Arihiro Hobunoda'

After feeling pleased with herself, she frowned at the next question. What class was she in again?

_"Don't waste time. If you don't know the answer, skip it and come back to it later."_

Taking in a deep breath, she tackled the rest of the page at a slow and steady pace, Kaoru's voice constantly invading her head, pushing her along. When the teacher had called out time's up she couldn't help but feel a large sense of achievement filling up her stomach with bubbliness.

After passing up her quiz, she lifted her head. Kaoru was turned around, looking directly at her, his eyebrows raised.

_How did you do?_ That's most definitely what his expression said.

She smiled. _Much better than the last quiz. _

Ayuuka's smile grew wider on seeing Kaoru return the smile, giving her a strange hand gesture. He had laughed as she mimicked his hand gesture and stared at her curled in fingers and stuck up thumb with a baffled expression.

* * *

Hikaru glowered at him, the guy who had somehow weeded himself into their trio, the guy whom had at that very moment latched himself to Haruhi's arm, the guy whose constant presence was something Kaoru never seemed to mind. Cheeks blown out and lips pursed, Arihiro hid behind Haruhi's slight frame from a menacing stare—_his_ menacing stare.

Who does that guy think he is, clinging to Haruhi like that? He has a girlfriend, for God's sake!

Not replying to Haruhi's 'What's wrong, Hikaru?' he pulled on Arihiro. When he finally managed to pry him off of Haruhi, he felt another Haemorrhage coming on as he glared at the 'leech' that now had his hands wrapped around Kaoru's arm pulling him down to one side.

Arihiro was like a piece of gum stuck to one of his expensive designer brand shoes—when he tried to get him off, he'd just get stuck to his other shoe. Strangely enough, Kaoru didn't seem to care that the mute boy liked to stick to his arm.

Before Hikaru could yell, a voice behind him spoke first.

"KYAAA! Arihiro-kun, what are you doing? Even though we're dating, you're clinging to Kaoru-kun! Do you _love_ him or something?"

Kaoru's jump at the word 'love' went unnoticed by Hikaru who snickered as he watched a teary-eyed Arihiro, hands reaching out for his newfound friends, being dragged away by the scruff of the neck.

* * *

Nanami Hayasaki sat herself under the tree, deciding reluctantly that her 'boyfriend' might die if she didn't stop dragging him along. She straightened her dress and spoke to 'him' in a professional manner. "You didn't answer my calls yesterday."

Ayuuka gave her a blank stare for several moments before answering. 'Arihiro doesn't have a phone.'

"Makes sense," she said as she scribbled something down in her notebook making Ayuuka ponder as to where it had come from. "So, what were you doing last night at 9:17pm?"

'Sleeping.'

"I see." More scribbling. "And at 7:33pm?"

'Sleeping.'

Another mm-hmmm. "4:41pm?"

'Sleeping.'

She frowned. "4:47pm?"

'Talking to Kaoru-kun about scratching Arihiro's back.'

"Uh-huh. So, you spend 45 minutes of your day with me, 2 hours with the host club, 6 hours with Hikaru-kun, Kaoru-kun and Haruhi-kun in class and an extra 3 hours of tutoring with Kaoru-kun."

Ayuuka nodded and watched curiously as Nanami remained silent, her head hung over the salmon-coloured notepad she had been scribbling furiously into. Just as Ayuuka was about to ask what was wrong, the raven-haired girl burst into tears, making her jump back. As she recoiled from her sobbing 'girlfriend', Ayuuka strained her ears to catch some sense and meaning in the incomprehensible sounds that spilled from Nanami.

"UWAAH! Arihiro-kun's always hanging out with those three! You're the Friendly Classmate Trio Tag-along! Not to mention you spend an extra 3 hours with Kaoru-kun! Arihiro-kun never spends any time with me!"

'WAAAAH! Arihiro's sorry! We can spend more time together! Two—No! Three hours a day! And Arihiro'll stop having Kaoru-kun tutor me! Please don't cry!' panicked Ayuuka.

Nanami's head lifted immediately, any evidence that she had been crying didn't seem to exist, only an ear-to-ear grin. Leaping to her feet, she reminded in a sugary voice, "Don't forget to tell Kaoru~!"

_Ah! But— _

"Let's go on a date someday~!" she continued cheerfully before skipping away.

_Crocodile tears?_ A puzzled Ayuuka frowned as she pulled out the math quiz from that morning, her eyes skimming over the large red marks circling her numerous incorrect answers before focusing on the 22% and the little comment that read, 'Some improvement made.'

The deal was that if she got 25% or over in the next quiz, Kaoru would continue to tutor her.

Though she wasn't the brightest person on the planet, she knew 22% wasn't enough.

* * *

The fragrance of roses intermingled with tea drifted out from the Third Music Room where, as always, the host club was in session. Tamaki alternated between sitting in his corner of woe and screaming; Kyouya tapped away at his Pineapple laptop and ignored Tamaki; Haruhi made tea and also ignored Tamaki; Hikaru and Kaoru were the ones making Tamaki scream; Hunny and his Usa-chan feasted on his cake; and Mori grunted.

"Eh? Where's Arihiro-kun?" asked Haruhi, as she set down a tray of steaming tea.

"Hmm?" Kyouya's eyes slowly flickered up from his screen. "He called in sick today."

"Yeah, apparently Won Ton gets sick very often, even though he's stupid."

"Yep, he's really stupid."

"I wonder if his stupid germs are contagious."

"Ne, Takashi, Hiro-chan's stupid, isn't he?"

"Ah."

"You're all stupid…" Haruhi muttered under her breath.

"Hm? Did you say something Haruhi?"

"No, it's nothing."

* * *

"Your piano is sloppy today. Is something bothering you? Skipping school and pretending to be sick today can't be another one your whims," said her piano teacher, the well-built man who also served as her father's secretary, her chauffeur, bodyguard and chaperone.

She shook her head and without her having to say or write a word, he was quick in understanding that that was enough for today. Standing up, he stiffly left the room, reminding her that tea would be served at 7pm as per usual before the click of the door signaled that she would finally have some time to herself.

But of course, the universe liked to prove her wrong.

There was someone talking _very loud_ outside her window.

Peeking through the blinds of the window, Ayuuka looked down into the courtyard where her two-week 'girlfriend' was walking, with her phone in hand, in her salmon pink heels carrying her usual professional air.

Sliding open the window and keeping the blinds shut, the scent of the lush gardens wafted into her room along with Nanami's conversation on the phone.

"Arihiro-kun'll make the perfect husband. Me marrying him will give us financial benefits. And then we'll make the perfect heir! And we'll name him Bob! What do you think, Father?"

Ayuuka recalled Kaoru having once asked her, _"What are you going to do about marriage?"_

"Hmmm? What if it's a girl? Weeell, we could still call her Bob . . . " Nanami's voice was growing farther and farther way as she click-clacked her way towards the front door. That's when it hit her. Thoughts and images flashed in her mind. Nanami-san and her? A girl and another girl making an heir? Making a BABY? Marriage? What the fu—

Slamming the window shut, Ayuuka ran out into the hallway, her bare feet pounding against the floorboards as she continued to sprint. "WAAAAH! FATHER'S SECRETAAAARY! WHERE ARE YOOOOU? HELP—"

_FWACK! _Her face lightened up on seeing her father's secretary standing before her like a brick wall.

"Ah—! Father's—secretary's—here! Thank—Thank—Goodness!" she exclaimed in gasps as she pushed him towards the front door.

"Arihiro-sama, your nose is—" He was more concerned about her nose bleeding from the impact of running _into_ him than whatever she was going on about but Ayuuka persisted desperately.

"You have to get rid of her! Tell her that Arihiro has some kind of very bad sickness. And that Arihiro is very contadino so she can't—"

"Contagious, you mean." He corrected her.

The doorbell rang.

"WAAAH! JUST TELL HER SOMETHING!"

"Yes, sir." He nodded and stepped out to the front porch, ready for battle.

Ayuuka peeked through the peephole, watching her father's secretary having a hard time convincing Nanami that her 'boyfriend' was terminally ill and extremely contagious. Feeling her heart pick up in pace, she prayed that her father's secretary would not have to resort to tackling Nanami to the ground. Strangely enough, it was working. For once, her prayers had been answered for Nanami retreated with an unsatisfied pout of the lips.

"She is gone, as you requested," said her piano teacher, stepping back inside the mansion.

Ayuuka nodded. As he began to wipe away the blood from her face with a damp handkerchief, a question popped into her mind. "Father's secretary, isn't this thingy for polishing shoes?"

"This?" He asked holding up the now blood stained handkerchief.

"Yes, that."

"It's usually for wiping or blowing one's nose," he explained as he finished cleaning up the last of the blood.

"So you blew your nose with it then wiped my face with it?" Her face crumpled up as she struggled to understand the mystery that was the use of a handkerchief.

"A-Ah, that is—"

The doorbell rang. Again.

Ayuuka turned to the door, her eyes wide and horrified, and her mouth agape.

No way, Nanami was back _already_?

Her father's secretary started to sweat as a determined Ayuuka spun around, grabbed a candelabra from the wall and handed it to him as if it was a two metre long spear. Shoving him out of the front door, she called after him, "You can do it father's secretary!"

Too scared to watch through the peephole, Ayuuka huddled beside a stand holding a vase of strange looking flowers, rocking herself back and forth. Attempting to convince herself that she would never have to marry another girl and produce an heir. And on a side note, that there would be no need to hold a funeral for her father's secretary.

Several moments later, everything was still as the door creaked open little by little. It took so long for the door to open and reveal who it was that an impatient Ayuuka stood up and yanked it open.

She stared, having expected to see Nanami and her father's secretary in a bloody fight to the death. Instead her eyes met with one of the twins, his hair a blinding blaze that when combined with the sun's beams made her shield her face with her hands.

"Eh? Kaoru-kun? What are you doing here?" asked Ayuuka, in her usual tone, having already forgotten the previous fifteen minutes where she had been panicking about Nanami's vision of having her as the father of her children.

A completely different worry was now swirling in her head.

"I came to crap on your bed," replied Kaoru sarcastically.

Her lips pursed. "Um, Ayuuka doesn't think the housekeeper would be happy if you did it there…You could use my bathroom if you like."

Kaoru sweat dropped. "Sure. Thanks."

Too tired to explain what sarcasm was, he let her lead him to a bathroom, the tune of her soft humming stuck in his head. No words were exchanged between them as she tugged on his wrist, the silence comfortable. His eyes bored into her back. She didn't look ill. She was still scatter brained. Yet something was different about her aura today.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"What?" As always she stopped abruptly. Had this been three months ago Kaoru most likely would have smacked right into her. He now knew her well enough to be able to keep up with her unpredictable pace.

"Are you okay?" he repeated. "You didn't come to school today."

"Oh." She opened the door to what seemed to be the en suite of her bedroom. Kaoru had no clue as to when they had gotten there. "Ayuuka pretended to be sick so there's nothing to worry about."

"Then, why didn't you come to school today?" He gazed at her blue pyjamas and added, "You don't look very busy."

"Ah…Well…Ayuuka doesn't know." Her small hands pressed against his back, ushering him into her bathroom. "Anyways, here's the bathroom. "

"What do you mean you don't kn—"

She shut the door before he could finish. He sighed. Kaoru could hear her muffled humming just outside the door. What was up with her today?

After he flushed and washed his hands, he found Ayuuka sitting on the floor; her back against the wall right beside the door, her knees propped up, her lips pursed once again.

She was whistling now.

Standing next to her, holding the door ajar. He watched her as she smiled and ran the silky material of her pyjamas between her fingertips, her whistling dying. "You know, Kaoru-kun, Ayuuka's always wanted to become the heir of father's company. So Ayuuka is really glad that Kaoru-kun tutored Ayuuka. Ayuuka learnt a lot of things."

He frowned. "What are you—"

"Ayuuka's sorry for making Kaoru-kun tutor Ayuuka. It must have been very troublesome." She laughed at herself. "'Cause Ayuuka's so stupid."

"Sorry? Why—"

"So, Ayuuka'll be going now."

"Hey—" The slam of the bathroom door muffled his voice. He pounded against the door and yelled, "—Open up! What are you doing in there?"

Leaning against the door, she yelled back her excuse. "A-Ayuuka needs to bathe! Yeah! Ayuuka is really stinky right now so Ayuuka's going to have a bath now."

Ayuuka slumped to the tiles, her back still resting against the door. Though he had stopped hollering at her to open the door, he was still there. She could see his shadow looming from under the door causing her heart to race. Finally, when a guitar riff sounded from his mobile, Kaoru's shadow slid away to answer it.

Sighing, she reluctantly jerked away from the door. Ayuuka knew she had to follow through with her excuse, but the tub looked an impossibly long distance away. Not deeming it necessary to lock the door, she knew that Kaoru would never, _ever_ barge in knowing that she was taking a bath. She was, after all, a girl.

Staggered to the bath, she twisted the tap on, undressed and lowered herself into the tub without waiting for it to finish filling. His words pounded against her skull. _"Then why aren't you at school today?"_

Well, she wasn't coughing or sneezing. Her nose wasn't runny. And her throat wasn't sore either. Ayuuka hadn't caught a cold in years. There was a superstition that stupid people were immune to colds anyway. So that wasn't it

Yet, there was a tight feeling in her chest that consumed her, drawing her towards a sadness she hadn't met with for a very long time. An overwhelming emotion she used to get every time someone made comparisons between her and her elder brother. Arihiro had always been the smarter, politer, more coordinated, more organised and overall better twin in every way—with the exception of the piano. But though she had been more talented with the piano, Arihiro had excelled her in three other instruments.

What's the word? What's the word for this saddening feeling?

Images of Kaoru's expression every time he tried to teach her something intermixed with the results of her math quiz. She didn't get enough. It wasn't good enough.

What is it? What do you call the feeling you get when you fail somebody?

"Ayuuka-sama, you're shivering."

From where and since when the maid had entered was a complete enigma to Ayuuka.

And to the statement, she made no reaction.

A motherly sigh. "Watch your feet. I'm going to add more hot water." She bent at the taps, touched the water and jerked her hand from the water as if it had burned her. The maid spoke in an even and controlled manner. "It's ice cold, Ayuuka-sama."

She mumbled something about cooling it too fast. Better than admitting that she was so out of it that she had sat in a tub of cold water without actually noticing.

The maid pulled the drain and Ayuuka watched the water drop, the _chug-chug_ of it echoing in the silent room. When it was two-thirds empty, the maid replaced the stopper, then nudged her feet farther from the faucet so that she could turn it on hot. Once it was refilled, she returned to her spot by the door without another word.

Ayuuka hugged her knees. Hearing a distant ring, Ayuuka looked up. "Ayuuka-sama, there is someone on the phone asking for you. It's Kyouya Ootori."

"Eh? Kyouya-sempai?" said Ayuuka, as she took the phone off of the maid. "Hello? Hello? _Hello?_ Maid-san, I can't hear anything."

"That'd be because you're holding the phone upside down, Ayuuka-sama."

Ayuuka looked at the phone and flipped it around with both hands and tried again.

"_Hello? Kyouya-sempai?_"

The maid silently left the bathroom to prepare her 'Master's' clothing.

"_What are you doing right now?_" Kyouya spoke immediately.

Foreign. Alien. That's what it felt like talking into a phone after so long. After all, there isn't exactly much help to have a mute call an ambulance when you're dying on the floor after eating Ayuuka's homemade cookies.

"_Eh? Right now…_" She looked around, half expecting him to be standing there smirking at her. "_Ayuuka is taking a bath._"

"_Get out right now. They're at your house. _All _of them._" Click! And Kyouya was gone.

"Who's them—" The door to the bathroom flew open and slammed shut. If it weren't for her extensive 'mute' training, she would have screamed.

Ayuuka looked at the flustered looking Hittachin by the door, down at herself sitting naked in her bathtub, back to Kaoru_ looking at_ _her_ and back down to herself _still _wearing nothing.

"GAAAH!" Covering his eyes with his hands and turning around, Kaoru urged her in a soft voice. "I'm sorry but we haven't got time. You need to get dressed." He could hear her quickly getting out of the bathtub, searching for something_—anything—_to cover herself with. "Kyouya-sempai said that the others will be here soo—"

In the next room, there was the distinguishable crash of an idiot flinging open the door much too hard for his grand entrance. "WON TON! Daddy's here!"

"Yay! We're in Hiro-chan's room~!"

It took a moment but Ayuuka finally understood her predicament. She was currently clothed in nothing but a—She was wearing _nothing_. She was trapped in her bathroom—which only has one entrance/exit. Her clothes are laid out on her bed in her bedroom along with her maid. The Host Club, whom are unaware of her girl/boy situation, have infiltrated her bedroom.

Thus, her secret was about to be exposed.

* * *

The host club—Tamaki, Haruhi, Hikaru, Hunny and Mori—pooled into the bedroom picking up and putting down assorted items of Ayuuka's interesting stuff collection; flicking through a shelf full of piano scores, technical books on piano, and piano CD's; inspecting the suspicious looking pot plant named Mr. Yellow; bashing the keys of the grand piano in the centre of the room; and then finally realising something.

"Hey, shouldn't Kaoru be here already?"

"Yeah! And where's Hiro-chan?"

"Oh! Is he in here?" asked Tamaki, having noticed the light seeping out from under the white washed door of the bathroom.

"Eh? Ah! Sir, you can't enter now! Arihiro-sama is bathing right now," the maid protested urgently.

"It's fine, it's fine! We're all beautiful young men anyway!" Tamaki's fingers closed around the door knob.

"No! You mustn't—"

Everyone crowded around the door as Tamaki turned the knob. The maid flinched away from the swung open door, dreading the moment they would find that her 'Master' was really a 'Mistress'.

* * *

Ayuuka jumped at the sound of the door opening and the still silence that followed.

They were gaping. They were most certainly gaping.

She put up her hands to cover her reddening face. She didn't want to see their expressions. But of all things, the presence of Kaoru standing next to her, made her heart pump so fast, she seriously thought she was going to die.

Finally, Hikaru spoke, on of his hands covering Haruhi's field of vision, "Hobunoda . . . You—"

"Why is Won Ton wearing Kaoru's clothes?" Tamaki cut in.

Kaoru looked down at himself, clad in nothing but his boxers and said, "Well, you see, Arihiro wanted to try out the clothes Hikaru and I designed. So I let him wear them. But he put them on without drying himself. Isn't that right, Arihiro?" He nudged her hand. She gasped, the bare skin of her hand prickling with a strange heat. Hoping that no one noticed, Ayuuka nodded furiously.

How strange it felt to wear clothes that were still warm from the_ opposite sex _having worn it a few minutes ago, _without_ the security of underwear, _while_ you had guests over. How strange, indeed.

Minutes before the bathroom door had been flung open, Ayuuka had found her head spinning on seeing Kaoru start to strip. Left with only his boxers, his back still facing her, he had thrown his garments over his shoulder, telling her to put them on quickly.

"Ahhh, so that's how it is," said the host club as they stroked the beards that they didn't have and stared. She couldn't help but sweat as they scrutinized her. Subconsciously placing an arm across her chest, she felt exposed with only the thin cotton of Kaoru's t-shirt.

"Ne, Takashi. Kao-chan's clothes don't really suit Hiro-chan, do they?"

Mori grunted.

"Nope. They don't suit him at all."

"Yeah, he'd look better in . . . "

Ayuuka tuned out the conversation discussing her fashion sense. Instead she turned to look at Kaoru and found that their eyes met. She bit her lip, hoping that he understood her silent message. He always seemed to. Like her father's secretary, Kaoru was someone who could understand what she wanted to say without her having to say it.

As she watched him usher everyone out of her bathroom, telling them that they most certainly did not need five spectators to watch them change, she couldn't help but think of how amazing he was to be able to read her thoughts.

She heard Kaoru sigh as the door clicked shut. Quickly, the girl tore her eyes away to thank the maid for grabbing her clothes and undergarments, afraid of getting caught for staring. But it wasn't like she'd get arrested for goggling at his bareback. So why was her heart beating so fast? Placing a hand gingerly over her heart, Ayuuka made a note to herself to make an appointment with the family doctor later on.

Changing together in the same room, confirmed Ayuuka's suspicions that she was extremely ill. Taking off Kaoru's clothes, she stood behind him wearing not a scrap of clothing. Making sure that his back was still turned—more importantly, that he couldn't see her—she handed him his clothes, her skin brushing his shoulder ever so slightly.

Once she was, once again, fully clothed, Ayuuka closed her eyes as the maid quickly applied makeup to conceal the feminine lines of her face. When her eyes opened again, she found Kaoru—also fully clothed—studying her face.

Gazing at her expression, he simply said, "You're welcome."

Ayuuka nodded, her face still pink. He read her thoughts again.

"The math quiz . . . What was your score?"

Another still silence fell between them. But this time, it wasn't another one of their comfortable quiet moments.

It was an awkward silence.

"I see." Having sensed her refusal to answer, he now understood what she was upset about. She hadn't gotten over 25%. He released a soft sigh and made a decision. Taking up the tone he and Hikaru used when accusing Tamaki of being an idiot, he said to her, "Ahhh, as I thought, your body's nothing like a girl's. Not curvy at all."

Kaoru grinned at her.

Ayuuka, on the other hand, was horrified.

He was teasing her. He was most certainly teasing her.

The host club turned to the bathroom door with questioning eyes on hearing a crash followed by a loud slap and an "OW!" that was unmistakably Kaoru's.

_Right now, the priority is getting rid of that sad expression._

* * *

"What's wrong, Kaoru?" said Hikaru, noticing his brother staring down at his shirt as the limousine cruised into the driveway of their mansion.

Rubbing the red handprint on his forearm, Kaoru turned to look up at the night sky—as dark and as cloudy as his muddled thoughts of Ayuuka.

"My clothes smell weird, that's all."

* * *

Gazing at the ceiling, Ayuuka fidgeted on her bed as she waited for him to pick up. Whenever she let her mind wander, her fingers always seemed to linger at the spot that _he_ had softly touched to catch her attention. His hand had been strangely cool against her own overheated skin. She snapped back into reality when she heard the other line pick up, Kyouya's voice emitting from the receiver.

"_Well?_"

She recalled hearing Kaoru's phone ring from her bedroom, minutes before the maid informed her of an incoming call as she sat in a bath of steaming water. "_Was Kyouya-sempai the one who called Kaoru-kun about everyone coming over? Thanks for that._"

"_Is that the only reason why you called me at 3:30 in the morning?_" Ayuuka could imagine him raising his eyebrows at her, accusing her of calling him so early in the day, though he wouldn't be getting into bed for another hour anyway.

"_Just one question," _she murmured, still considering whether or not to ask. Through the receiver she could hear him tapping away at his keyboard as he waited patiently. Finally, she spoke again.

_"Kyouya-sempai, if a boy and a girl can make a baby . . . Then can a girl and another girl make one too?_"

"_Biologically that is impossible._"

Oh.

_Oh dear._


	6. What Ayuuka wants?

******AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I'm alive and Ayuuka's a creep. This chapter hasn't been beta-ed yet; I think Saiai Angel's on holidays. I'm not really sure about making this chapter so Kaoru/Ayuuka centred. Ah well.

Ouran High School Host Club © Hatori Bisco.

* * *

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong with Ayuuka's heart, Doctor-san?"

She thrummed her fingers against her lap, miming the melody of _Humoresque_. How could there possibly be nothing wrong with her heart?

"You've asked me that four times already, Ayuuka-san. And my answer is still the same. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your heart."

Then the throbbing and the racing?

Ayuuka gasped, hugging herself. A revelation, perhaps.

Could it—Could it be? …LOVE? Staring off into the distance—eyes glistening, mouth hanging slightly open—Ayuuka shivered. She needed to get Father's Secretary to buy her more shoujo manga.

"Uh…A-Ayuuka-san?" The doctor gazed at the pianist's strange expression of bliss (?). Maybe there really was something wrong with her. "A-Are you okay?"

Snapping back to reality, not hearing or noticing the doctor's inquiry—of course—Ayuuka straightened in her seat. "Ah! Then are you sure that two girls can't make a baby?"

Sweatdropping, the doctor cleared her throat. "Positive. It's biologically impossible."

The whole 'biologically impossible' thing weighed down on Ayuuka's shoulders, only to be thrown backwards as another idea came to her head. "Ah! Then can you change Ayuuka into a real boy?"

"I'm afraid I don't have the qualifications nor the permission from your father, Ayuuka-san."

"Oh…" And the weight came back. Again, her shoulders slumped, her brow furrowing even further. "But Ayuuka doesn't understand; Father wants Ayuuka to be Arihiro, who was a boy but he doesn't want Ayuuka to be a real boy."

"Well, Hobunoda-sama is—how should I say—whimsical. Ayuuka-san is also very whimsical."

"Oh, thank you," Ayuuka said, looking doubtful, unable to find a better response. _Doctor-san thinks Father and Ayuuka are…cool? Him-so-cool, is that even a word?_

* * *

"Arihiro. Come here."

She blinked once. Twice. Tentatively, she got up. What could Kyouya want with her?

Kyouya nodded at the seat in front of him. Moving slowly, she sat down and began to sweat. Silence. Twisting around, she realised that the other Host Club members were watching from a safe distance, their heads peeking out from behind a sofa.

"You didn't have any designators today," said Kyouya, causing her to turn back around. His voice was devoid of warmth, as always, tenacious, cold and unforgiving.

Ayuuka nodded. While everyone else was busy dealing with customers, she had sat on the carpet by the grand piano, occasionally stroking its leg.

"And do you know why?"

She shook her head.

"Because you _suck_."

This time her grey eyes widened into saucers, and her bottom lip began to quiver. Again. She was being scolded by Mummy. Again.

"Even Keiko-san, who is supposed to be your girlfriend, didn't designate you."

Ouch.

"Improve by next week or you'll return to full-time lapdog. _Won Ton._"

Ayuuka flinched at the pet name, shuddering at the memory of her Lapdog days. (Lapdog days that never actually happened.) The idea of quitting the host club to avoid this terrible fate never did and never would occur to her. It wasn't as if she had a debt to pay, like Haruhi. But of course, she was stupid.

"You are free to go now, _Won Ton._"

Tripping as she got up, Ayuuka stumbled away.

"Kyouya-sempai, as always, he's merciless," said Haruhi, not seeming to believe what just happened.

Scrutinising Ayuuka, Hikaru commented, "It's probably because he's such a _weakling._"

"Yeah, girls don't like weak guys," agreed Kaoru.

"Foolish, Won Ton. A man must stand up for himself. He must . . ." It was Tamaki speaking and so was automatically tuned out.

"Stay strong, Hiro-chan. We'll help you, don't you worry!"

"Ah."

"Yeah, Kyouya-sempai just said that you suck. What do you have to say to that?"

'Arihiro's sorry.'

"WRONG! You supposed to say, 'No, _you_ suck!'"

"Yeah! Now, go say that to Kyouya-sempai."

Say _that_ to _Kyouya_? No one in their right mind is capable of saying that to Kyouya.

Her hand quivered over her notepad, as the letters were slowly being etched onto the paper.

_N–O—Y–O–U—S–U–_

She hesitated. Her bottom lip trembled. Lifting her head up, she was met with Kyouya's expectant gaze. The flash of his glasses whispered to her, _Do it and you die._

Behind her she could hear them cheering her on. "You can do it, Won Ton!"

Won Ton can't do it, Won Ton can't do it.

She was being ordered to do two things: Tell Kyouya that he sucks, and not tell Kyouya that he sucks. Tell Kyouya that he sucks. Don't tell Kyouya that he sucks. Tell Kyouya he sucks. Don't tell Kyouya that he sucks. Tell Kyou—

_FWAP!_

Hikaru and Kaoru snorted. Now why on earth had Ayuuka just slap herself in the face with her notebook?

Sniveling, Ayuuka crawled on her hands and knees with a strangely dog-like speed, settling underneath one of the plush couches, curling up into what looked like a fetal-position.

The twins roared with laughter, pulling a blue clipboard out of nowhere. Haruhi looked down at the clipboard that Hikaru and Kaoru were scribbling furiously into. '_It seems that it does not handle pressure well.'_

The brunette hesitated before she asked, "…What is this?" She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"We've decided to write a log book on Won Ton."

"A log bo—What is he, an animal?"

This time every joined in, speaking in unison. "Yeah."

Haruhi sighed. _Poor Arihir—_

_BANG!_

Ayuuka jumped, slamming her head into the underside of the couch she was under. Everyone looked at the door, except the pianist. She immediately knew who it was. She also immediately knew that if she was dragged off by the person at the door, she would shrivel up and rot like a nine-month old banana.

"Arihiro-kun? Where are you?"

"'Afternoon, Keiko-san," greeted Kyouya-sempai.

A whimper from under the couch. _Sickly sweet voice equals to Nanmi Keiko-san. Nanami-san here equals Nanami-san and Ayuuka making a baby even though Kyouya-sempai told Ayuuka that it was biologically impossible. Ayuuka…must…survive._

If she kept still and quiet, Nanami wouldn't notice and would leave. Right. Perfect plan. Suddenly, she felt hands around her ankles, dragging her out from under the sofa.

_AH! Caught! Ayuuka's been caught by the Nanami-san!_

Then she felt more hands, this time, around her wrists. Familiar sounds of repressed laughter.

"Hey, you two! Let go of my boyfriend!" said Keiko, as she proceeded to tug on Ayuuka's ankles.

"Say, _pleaaaase_!" taunted the twins, yanking back on the pianist's wrists.

And so, the tug-of-war began as Ayuuka, still under the sofa, made a noise not unlike a bright orange goldfish out of water. _God help me…_

* * *

Sunlight seeped in through the gaps of the blinds shining onto her face. Feeling the brightness burn through her closed lids, she groaned and rolled onto her stomach. Ayuuka lay under the sheets, hands buried under her pillow, hair splayed out softly on top.

"Father's secretary?" she called in a faint voice.

"Yes, Ayuuka-sama?"

"Could you send a message to Kaoru-kun for Ayuuka?"

Not moving from her comfortable position with the sun warming her back, the pianist watched the man pick up a small peculiar device from her desk and ask, "Yes, and what would you like to tell him?"

"Tell him that Ayuuka's not coming to school today because Ayuuka's tummy feels funny."

"As you wish, Ayuuka-sama," replied Father's secretary.

He looked strange in Ayuuka's eyes—Father's secretary, that is—a large powerfully built man with big rough hands pressing the tiny keys of the tiny device with such speed and precision.

_Tap, tap, tap._

She watched him curiously, her head still resting against the pillow. "When will you be going to help Father at work?"

_Tap, tap, tap._

"Shortly after I finish messaging Kaoru-sama."

_Tap, tap, tap._

"Oh."

When it seemed that he finished, he stood up, carefully placing the phone back on the desk. "Will you be alright on your own?"

Shifting slightly, she nodded. "Yeah. —Ah! Can you drop Ayuuka off somewhere?"

* * *

_Beep, beep, beep. _

He stirred, groaning softly.

_Beep, beep, beep. _

A cross-legged Ayuuka watched curiously as Kyouya blindly patted his bedside table, failing to find the source of the exasperating beeping.

_Beep, beep, beep._

No longer able to take anymore, he sat up growling, his bloodshot eyes shooting daggers, bullets and nuclear bombs at the bedside table that _did not_ have his alarm clock.

Where is it?

_Beep, beep, beep._

"Kyouya-sempai?" whispered a high-pitched voice.

_Beep, beep, beep. _

Kyouya twisted his head around and stared at the idiot sitting on his bed, but what immediately caught his eye was _his_ alarm clock in _her_ hands instead of on the bedside table he had so thoroughly searched.

_Beep, beep, bee—_

_KA–SMASH! _Ayuuka's gazed at the plastic bits of the alarm clock's corpse. It had suddenly vanished from her hands and created a dent in the wall—results of the wrath of the Low Blood Pressure Evil Lord. _Definitely _something not to mess with.

Oh well.

"Kyouya-sempai, Ayuuka needs help with a math question!" she said, holding out her notebook.

Letting out a sigh, he picked up his glasses and took the book off her, "Which one?"

"All of them," she said flatly. "Why are there multiplication signs everywhere?"

Kyouya felt his lip twitch. "That's not a multiplication sign, it's an _x_."

Deep furrows in her brow. "_X_?"

Kyouya deliberately ignored her, not wanting to explain what _x_ was. "For the first one you need to…" Several moments later, he asked. "You get it?"

"Not one bit," she pouted. "Ayuuka understands it when Kaoru explains it."

_Pop_

_Pop._

_Pop._

Ayuuka tilted her head up to see veins popping up on Kyouya's face, a mad and crazed look in his eye. She couldn't have pissed him off that mu—

She froze. Kyouya raised his hand, hysteria in his eyes and—

—flicked her in the forehead. "Then get Kaoru to tutor you, you ungrateful underclassman!"

Flopping onto her back, she screamed, though it hadn't hurt the slightest bit. Hands over her forehead, she continued to lay sprawled on her back, studying the ceiling.

"Ayuuka doesn't want to bother Kaoru with tutoring. A deal is a deal, 25% or over, and I didn't make it. Besides, Ayuuka promised Keiko-san to spend more time together. And if Ayuuka were to have Kaoru-Tutoring and break that promise…"—thinking back to the conversation she overheard, Ayuuka clutched the sides of her head in horror—"Keiko might force Ayuuka to get married and make children and then she'll find out that Ayuuka's not a real boy and then Ayuuka will have to get a sex chang—"

Kyouya cut her off, flicking her in the forehead again. "And why does that even matter? The contract with Hayasaki-san expires in a week."

A somewhat mechanical sound rose from her throat. "Ha."—pause—"Ha."—pause—"Ha. About that…" Her eyes focused on anything _but_ the sharp and murderous glint in the Shadow King's eyes. But the pianist felt herself waver in not telling, convinced that Kyouya's homicidal tendencies were emitting a thick, ominous, tell-me-or-I'll-force-you-into-a-shredder wave that would burn off all the hair on her head.

A second passed, beads of sweat forming at her brow.

Another second passed, the air suddenly becoming thin, her collar too tight.

(Damn his intimidating stare.)

—"AHH! Ayuuka signed a contract to extend the contract to 4 weeks! Ayuuka's sorry! Ayuuka's sorry! Ayuuka's sorry!" She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the killing blow.

And waited.

And waited.

And nothing.

Nothing at all.

"Eh? Kyouya-sempai, you're not gonna hi—"

THWAP! Plastic and bright green connected with her forehead. She let out a muffled scream, resuming a fetal position. Ayuuka recalled Haruhi taking the liberty of explaining what this plastic weapon was. Commoner's referred to the weapon as a 'flyswatter'. Uses? Swatting flies.

_What a strange, strange day it was_, she thought. _Kyouya-sempai hit me with a flyswatter. Why would Kyouya-sempai even_ have_ a flyswatter?_

"Are you stupid? Until when do you plan on letting people step all over you and do as they please? Stand up for yourself and say no."

"Ayuuka just wanted her to stop crying…" she pursed her lips, cheeks blown out.

Kyouya sighed, heaving himself out of bed, making his way to the closet, pulling out his uniform. "Shouldn't you be getting dressed for school?"

She shook her head. "Father's Secretary thinks Ayuuka should take the day off. Ayuuka's tummy hurts."

A raised eyebrow. "Have you seen a doctor about it?"

"Yup, she says it's Car-poo burn."

"I beg your pardon?"

"She says it's Car-poo burn," Ayuuka said, louder.

Sweatdrop. "Car…poo…burn?"

A nod. "Anyway, Ayuuka needs to get back home now."

"Ah. Bye." He watched her skip and stumble out the door. _Car-poo burn?_

* * *

"AH! Could you drop me off here?" said Kaoru, breathlessly as he caught sight of a familiar gate.

Noticing his brother opening the car door, Hikaru frowned. "Hey, Kaoru. What are yo

"Sorry Hikaru, you go on first."

"Wha—" Hikaru's protest was cut off by the slam of the car door.

_Kaoru?_

* * *

He blinked twice and stared.

A naked four poster bed. A blanket roll under the piano. A pair of shoes dangling from the ceiling fan. Music books camouflaging window panes. Curtains—compete with curtain rings and pole—half-immersed in a toilet bowl. A book shelf stuffed with toe socks. Rainbow toe socks. And—God forbid—a pile of dirt. A pile of dirt on the white tufted carpet at his feet. No plant, no pot. Just a pile of dirt.

_What the fu_—

Dare he? She had to be somewhere in that—he shook his head. He didn't even want to think of words to describe the scene before his eyes.

Kaoru uncurled his fingers from the doorknob. Inhale, exhale. He no longer fathomed as to why she did anything she did. No reason to do so now. Stepping around the pile of dirt, he tread into her room, the smell of blueberry muffins filling his nostrils.

Where is she? He eyed the toe sock filled shelf warily. That was one massive heap of toe socks, massive enough to hide a certain idio—

SMACK!

"AH!" He pitched forward, knocking into the shelf full of toe socks. Veins popped up at his temples, he had tripped on the blanket roll under the piano. Through the rain of rainbow toe socks, he spotted it. The stupid thing he'd tripped on had _moved_. It continued to wriggle like a grub, and suddenly, a mass of tangled hair spouted out of one end. It looked up, dull grey eyes locking with his own.

"Kaoru?" It said to itself, blinking, still wriggling.

"You…" started Kaoru in a grating voice, buried in a mountain of toe socks.

"Kaoru?" It said again. She wriggled a little more and then stopped. "Ayuuka's stuck."

He stared at her. A roll of blanket with a head on one end. He couldn't even see her neck or shoulders. "Stupid? Are you stupid?" he laughed, thumping the ground.

Her brow furrowed as he continued to laugh. She tried wriggling again, "Help. Kaoru, help."

The sniggers came closer, above her, so close by. Failing to twist her head to look up at his face, she could only see his feet by her head as he rolled her over, tugging against the end of the blanket.

"You're free now." He said, traces of snickering still in his voice.

She blinked, Kaoru towering over her as she laid sprawled on her back, arms spread out, hair out of her face. Ayuuka gazed at him for a moment before reaching up to seize the front of his shirt to pull herself up, feeling warm hands automatically close around her forearms to help. Another one of their comfortable silences.

"Well?" said Kaoru, looking at her expectantly.

"Well, what?" she replied, tilting her head.

"Why are you here instead of at school? _Again?_"

Ayuuka shrugged. "Ayuuka's tummy felt funny."

"Your tummy? Are you alright?" Kaoru's eyes flitted over her abdomen, his hands closing in—

She squeaked, her arms wrapping around her stomach protectively. "Ayuuka's fine."

Something seemed to click in his head. "You—It wasn't." Kaoru moved in closer to her, backing her up into a wall with no way to escape. He especially surprised her by prying her hands away and lifting her shirt, gazing intently at exposed skin.

"AH! What are you doing?" Ayuuka exclaimed, slapping his hands away, colour flaring up her cheeks.

"I knew it. Carpet burn. _Because of us_. You should have said something." He had let go of her shirt be he had yet to back off. "That was from the tug-of-war with Keiko-san, wasn't it?"

"It's not that bad," Ayuuka said defensively. Unable to hold his gaze, she took a sudden interest in her shoes—shoes she _wasn't wearing_.

"You should have gotten angry or said something at least."

"Sorry."

"Idiot, don't apologise. We're the ones who are supposed to apologise to _you_."

"Oh. Sorry…" She muttered sheepishly, hands clasped, eyes still on the ground.

Kaoru ran a hand through his hair; settling into an armchair, mind racing to find a new subject. He'd made her uncomfortable.

"Ah—You missed some work while you were away last time, you know," he said.

No answer.

He gazed at her, small figure clad in silk pajamas, head down, cheeks puffed out, shifting nervously.

"Haruhi was worried about you," he tried, knowing that _that_ would get her attention.

Ayuuka's head whipped up instantly, "Really?" she asked, clearly pleased.

Kaoru chuckled. "Yeah, we all were. I guess that's why we all came over to check on you."

"Oh." She turned pink, lips turning into small smile as she settled in a chair opposite him. No doubt she was thinking about it. The Host Club bursting into her bedroom, trapping her in the bathroom with nothing to cover herself with. That was a close one. All thanks to Kaoru and Kyouya, no one saw her stark naked, except well, Kaoru. More blood rushed up to tint her cheeks at that thought.

Kaoru cleared his throat. "Oh yeah—you missed some work when you were away the other day."

Grey eyes looked on, wide and horrified as he unzipped his bag and pulled out a generous stack of notebooks.

"T–Thank you," she said as she took them from him, the mortified expression never leaving her face as she eyed the stack warily, as if they would suddenly sprout fangs and start sparkling in the sunlight. Ayuuka shivered, _God no, anything but that._

Tentatively she flicked through one, feeling a dizzy spell come on as she skimmed over unfamiliar words and expressions. Biting her lip, Ayuuka shook her head.

_Like a bee, homework can smell fear. Mustn't—show—fear._

All the while, Kaoru watched her carefully, noting her expressions. Right. Now was the time. Inhale and exhale. "Hey, Ayuuka?"

"Y–Yeah?" Her horrified expression was still intact.

"How about I tutor you again?"

"Eh?"

"Well you made a pretty big improvement in that last test, even if the end grade was still—uh, not so good. If we keep working at it, _maybe_ you'll improve," he explained, cautiously choosing his words.

Ayuuka froze, grey eyes still wide, only there was a different emotion behind them—surprise and shock. Finally, she spoke. "Really?" she asked, unable to contain her excitement.

"Yeah." Kaoru masked his amusement with a cough so unconvincing it couldn't fool _anyone._ But this was Ayuuka, she never counted in things like these.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"_Really?_"

"…Yeah."

The doubt was starting to sink in.

"Really? Really?"

"Yes."

Ayuuka seemed to bounce up and down, twirling, not quite sure what to do to express her delight. He eyed her warily, his incoming-pain senses tingling. Then without notice, the image of a flying squirrel leaping at him entered his mind. It was just for a split second, her arms around him, squeezing him tightly, her body pressed against his, warmth spreading everywhere, and then—

Nothing. Then nothing. He whirled around, she was no where in sight suddenly. Where the he—

"Kaoru?" It was coming from under the grand piano.

Moving cautiously, he stepped around the suspicious pile of dirt and looked. "There you are."

Not good. She had her serious face on. "We have a problem, Kaoru," said Ayuuka in a tone so excessively grave and grim, Kaoru wanted to laugh. She acted as if she hadn't just thrown her arms around him, _hugged_ him, then ran and hid under the piano. Kaoru started to doubt whether or not it even happened, but her cheeks were flushed and so were his.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

"Nanami-san said she doesn't want you to tutor Ayuuka anymore."

"The two-week girlfriend? Why?"

"She said Ayuuka spends too much time with you. What should I do?"

"Do whatever you want. Stand up for yourself. You don't have to do as everyone asks of you—you're allowed to say no. It's your life isn't it?" He had noticed this; she tended to do whatever she was told to do—no matter who, no matter what.

"But—"

"—Just do what _you_ want to do."

"What _Ayuuka_ wants?" she said, dumbly.

Ayuuka frowned. She just wanted to do whatever she was asked. Things were always better that way. But she couldn't this time. It was like being told to tell Kyouya he suckedand also be told not to tell Kyouya he sucked. It just wasn't possible.

Noticing her troubled expression, he changed the topic again, deciding to get back to the work she missed. He grabbed a notebook off the chair he'd been sitting on, and crawled under the piano next to her.

"Here, let me explain this stuff to you."

* * *

But what was supposed to be a little explanation turned into a full-blown tutoring session and Kaoru was tired. Relishing in the cool air of the air conditioner while sprawled comfortably on the sofa, he rested his eyes, a light piano melody lulling him into lethargy.

Ayuuka turned around to look at Kaoru, on realising that he'd fallen asleep, she scampered over to watch. Her jaw dropped, eyes glistening.

_Typical shoujo manga scene._

She stared at his sleeping form. She couldn't resist. Slowly bringing her face over his, nice and close, she poked his cheek, quickly ducking—just in case he woke up.

But he didn't.

_But he didn't_. The ultimate queue to take it further. But first—Ayuuka pulled out a black permanent marker. Slow and steady, she moved closer and—

—gave him a beauty mark right next to his left eye. Just for good measure.

Ducking again, she waited.

He didn't wake up.

Right. It was safe then.

That meant she could take it _even further._

* * *

Kaoru had woken up many times to see many strange things in his life.

But this—this by far was the strangest.

He woke up to the sound of someone crying, their tears splattering all over his face.

"What are you doing?"

He stared at the blubbering Ayuuka, her face so close he could see the tears clinging to her eyelashes, and the snot dripping from her nose. Kaoru blinked, noticing a pair of orange safety scissors in one of her hands, dangerously close to his face—and her other hand? Nowhere to be seen but—_in his hair_?

"A–A–Ayuuka's sorry. Kaoru's hair was so pretty and Ayuuka was being stupid again, playing with it and making piggy tails and–and–and then it got stuck and–and–and now Ayuuka has to chop her hand off and–and–and Ayuuka's hand will be stuck in your hair FOREVER!" bawled Ayuuka.

He couldn't help it.

He laughed. _Hard._

"It's not f-funny, Kaoru," she blubbered.

Still sniggering, he sat up and took the safety scissors from her and set them down. "Alright let's move to the bathroom."

A difficult, slow and awkward feat, but achievable. In front of the mirror in the bathroom he began to gently tug at his hair, loosen the tangles to free her hand. He noticed a black spot next to his left eye but shrugged it off—_must be a spot on the mirror_. He also noticed Ayuuka goggling at him with an odd expression on her face. One that he couldn't read, that was something new.

"Hey Kaoru?"

"Yeah?"

"When are you going to go to school?"

"Huh?" Kaoru froze, glanced at his watch and screamed, "WHAT?"

3:00PM.

He was just supposed to drop in to visit her before school and then head back but—

Panicking, Kaoru's hand dipped into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

Fifteen missed calls—all Hikaru.

Damn it.


End file.
